1001 Things It Means To Be A Dad: Naruto Style!
by YoutubeGirl
Summary: SasuNaru, GaaNeji, ShikaKiba, KakaIru. Post mpreg, Sasuke, Gaara, Shikamaru, and Kakashi never expect fatherhood to be well, so demanding. Can they handle the pressure of being high level ninja? Yes. Can they handle moody ukes and babies? No.
1. Chapter 1

Summary: SasuNaru, GaaNeji, ShikaKiba, KakaIru. Post mpreg, Sasuke, Gaara, Shikamaru, and Kakashi never expect fatherhood to be well, so demanding. Can they handle the pressure of being high level ninja? Yes. Can they handle moody ukes and babies? No. Inspired by the book 1001 Things It Means To Be A Dad.

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Authors' Note/Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or anything in it. Trust me the show would be a lot different if I did. I will be doing all 1001 things from the mentioned book. Maybe I'll skip a few if I can't find a way too relate it to the Naruto characters or what not. Most of these will be drabbles

Being a dad means becoming heroic

Sasuke knew he wasn't the most heroic person around. He was heroic in the way he was strong and brave but if he was a character in a novel he would be an anti-hero. Maybe even a villain for all the shit he done in the past. But he redeemed himself but not without paying the price and now at twenty-three was the father of a bouncing baby girl. A bouncing baby girl who just came home from the hospital two days ago.

He couldn't stop looking at her in that little blue crib of hers. She seemed so tiny so fragile. Naruto was sleeping in their master bedroom, still tired from childbirth. Sasuke left his newborn daughter for a moment to check up on Naruto.

Naruto was lying on the bed looking smaller than ever as the orange blankets engulfed him. Sasuke complained that the orange blankets didn't fit in with the rest of the Uchiha compound but Naruto argued because he had gotten lost in the Uchiha compound twice it was orange blankets or he was telling Granny Tsunade that Sasuke was treating him well. Sasuke shut up for two reasons arguing with a five month pregnant Naruto is suicidal and Tsunade personally told him "' Hurt Naruto and I'll hurt you.'". He never heard so much murder in the ex-Hokage's voice.

Smiling at his uke's sleeping form he left quietly and went back to his daughter's bedroom. She was just waking up and Sasuke picked her up and rocked her to not wake Naruto. He looked at his daughter's onyx eyes that matched his own. "'A Sasuke clone.''" is what Naruto called her. Sweet little Kyoko that was pure of the world's troubles and that's how Sasuke wanted her to stay.

* * *

Even if that meant fighting off any boy or girl that came close to dating his baby girl.

Authors' Note Part 2!: In case you're wondering the order of these drabbles will be

Sasuke

Gaara

Shikamaru

Kakashi

Also if you're wondering Sasuke and Naruto have five children. They will be appearing in the order they were born oldest to youngest. Here they are in order of oldest to youngest with their gender next to them.

Kyoko-girl

Daisuke-boy

Kushina-girl

Rai-boy

Fugaku-boy

Next up!:Gaara and discovering the being a ninja doesn't always =man.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.

Being a dad means a man. In all situations

Gaara knew he was a man. He was a man's man literary. He was the kazekage so of course he was strong. But as soon as he found out Neji was carrying their child he realized what it truly meant to be a man.

Being a man meant having Neji go from sobbing in your shoulder to throwing a lamp at your head because mood swings were getting to him. He knew being a man meant you were able to handle having the life squeezed out of your hand.

But he didn't being a man meant having to change a diaper. Neji was out on a mission and wouldn't be back until tomorrow. That left Gaara in charge of baby caring. The whole day Gaara was cursing the fact that Neji didn't want a nanny. _'A baby is easy to take care of my ass.'_ Gaara thought bitterly. He didn't have a motherly instinct, in fact he was pretty sure that he didn't have a fatherly instinct as well.

But here he was in front of the baby changing station in the white nursery room his son screaming way too loud to be humanly possible. Even Shukaku would hide in fear of changing a baby's diaper. "Zen will you please stop yelling so daddy can change your diaper." There, that sounded comforting enough. Tomo stopped crying and looked up at Gaara with big turquoise eyes. "Thank you." Gaara removed the diaper like the nurse showed him how. The smell was overwhelming but he could do it.

He was a man.

Authors' Note: I can picture Gaara and Neji having three kids. Gaara would probably need two to get used to loving and taking care of children and Neji would have on because of the branch family. If he wasn't part of the branch family then he would definitely have two.

Here they are from oldest to youngest.

Tomo-boy

Seiko-girl

Unmei-girl


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto sadly or maybe that's a good thing...

Being a dad means understanding God has big plans for you. He chose you to be the father of His child.

Shikamaru knew Asuma watched over him like some kind of guardian angel. He knew it was Asuma who was there when the doctors said that Kiyoshi wasn't going to make it and somehow Kiyoshi made it. Sure, Kiba said it was because Inuzukas never backed down from a fight but it was Asuma. That and the fact that Kiyoshi had the last name Nara.

He knew it was Asuma watching over them when every time Kiba went to see Sakura and was proclaimed healthy. Of course Kiba's ego said it was because of the Inuzuka clan. This was also around the time Shikamaru suspected that the Inuzukas had the whole 'my clan pwns yours' mentality that made the Hyugas and Uchihas famous. Or maybe it was just Kiba's ego.

But it was definitely Asuma that shone in Kiyoshi's black silt eyes. He didn't believe much in reincarnation because Asuma and Kurenai's kid was definitely Asuma reborn but maybe it was a sign that Asuma looked out for his old genin team and their children.

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So yeah, the Naras had a guardian angel. A guardian angel that filled up heaven with cigarette smoke and shogi boards but a guardian angel.

Authors' Note: this was the hardest one so far. I had to think of a way to write this without setting any religious bombs off. The respect that Shikamaru had for Asuma turned into this. And yes Kiba would claim all the good things about his and Shika's children came from his side of the family. Shika would roll his eyes and mutter 'troublesome mutt.'

Once again here are the children from oldest to youngest.

Kiyoshi-boy

Shikavivi- girl

Shikamaru got his wish of two children boy and girl. And yes, Shikavivi's name was one of my own creation because the Naras need a Shika. If Shikamaru ends up being the one that I have to write about the naming process I will definitely use Shikavivi or as everyone calls her Vivi.

Also I will (try to) update this story twice a day!


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: Why must I be constantly reminding that I don't own Naruto? Mom, stop waking me up every morning!

Being a dad means making promises-and keeping them.

Kakashi was running late. That wasn't anything new. He had been late for a lot of things. His wedding, the birth of his daughter, the birth of his other daughter, the birth of his other other daughter, and the birth of his son.

But he promised his oldest daughter that he would be there for her dance recital and Kami dammit he wasn't going to let Yura down! So that was why he was running to the local dance auditorium own by Sai's wife. As he got closer and closer he swore that he could see Iruka pacing outside. "Kakashi!" Iruka said when he reached the auditorium. "How can you be late to recital that Yura has been talking about everyday!" Iruka raised a hand as if he was going to slap Kakashi but Iruka could never do that.

"I'm sorry. I really am. I got caught up proofreading a few chapters of the latest installment of Icha Icha." Iruka's brown eyes softened. Kakashi did care about his children even if he let his perverted hobbies get in the way occasionally.

"Hurry up then. Yura's class is about to go on." They went inside the dark auditorium taking a seat next to Tsunade who was there with a camera filming her 'great-granddaughter'. "Where are Kita, Haruka, and Jun?" Kakashi whispered. They weren't back home and nowhere in the auditorium. "I got Anko babysitting them." Iruka whispered back. "How?" "You know how Anko is always eager to spend time with her 'nieces and nephew' that and I promised to treat her to dango." "Ahh."

The curtains opened and there was his daughter, seven years old and the brightest and best dancer there. Kyoko was an OK dancer but you could tell that she much rather be training than wearing that poof ball of a tutu.

* * *

Yura tried to look for her daddy while doing all the steps correctly. She didn't want to ruin all the make-up Auntie Anko put on for her but tears pooled up in her big brown eyes. Then a large mega-watt smile lit up her face. Her daddy was there! Right next to papa!

Now she _had_ to dance better than ever!

Author's Note: OK before we get serious I have to address something. Yura is the cutest thing in the world! No seriously. I know it's wrong to pick favorites but I love Yura. If I ever buy 1001 Things Every Teen Should Know Before They Leave Home (or Else They'll come back) which is by the same author as 1001 Things It Means To Be A Dad I'll have to include Yura if I decide to do a drabble collection. And everyone else of course.

In case you're wondering 1001 Things It Means To Be A Dad is by Harry H. Harrison Jr. I also own another one of his books called 1001 Things It Means To Be A Mom. Potential sequel alert?

This will be the last of my ridiculously long Authors' Note. This is the longest so far. Mostly because of my Yura love.

Sai's wife will probably remain nameless. I needed someone to be a dance teacher and Sai seemed like the type to marry one. Because they make beautiful art together. Cheesy grin time! Let's just imagine Sai married some random non-ninja woman who liked to dance.

I do not support the Sai Is Gay Theory.

I support the Sai Is Bi Theory.

Kakashi and Iruka's children in order from oldest to youngest.

Yura-girl

Kita-girl

Haruka-girl

Jun-boy

Yes, they have four children because c'mon Kakashi and his _needs._


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: I still don't own Naruto now leave me alone!

Being a dad means being around. Studies show that kids without responsible fathers are more likely to experience poverty, perform poorly in school, and engage in criminal activity, premarital sex, drug abuse, and heavy alcohol consumption.

Sasuke always was there for his children. His work didn't interfere too much. He tried to be there twenty four-seven. When Kyoko or Daisuke wanted to train he helped. He even offered to change Kushina's diaper when Naruto was at work. He was the closest thing to a perfect father.

"Hey daddy to you want to help me train?" Daisuke asked. Daisuke worshiped his daddy. Everyone said good things about his daddy and how in the end he always came back to mommy. Daisuke even emasculated Sasuke's chicken butt haircut. As if he needed any help looking more like Sasuke. "Of course I will." Sasuke gave a rare smile and patted his son's head. Kyoko was off pranking someone with Naruto's help. Kyoko definitely took after Naruto when it came to personality. At eight years of age she already caused an upraise in aspirin sales.

Daisuke at seven years old was already more mentally mature. Sasuke wanted his children to grow up to the Uchiha standards. He wanted them to be successful, top of their class, respected ninjas that won't show up stoned or wasted at three in the morning. He couldn't chide them from having sex before marriage because he was guilty of that one.

He just promised that he would never ever miss a moment of his children's life.

Authors' Note: I decided to change the format I write. I us usually add ---- to separate the story from the author's note but for some reason the last couple of line always seem disconnected. So no --- separating the author's note.


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: I still don't own Naruto.

Being a dad means admitting your screw-ups,but not dwelling on them.

When Gaara got home from the office he knew something was wrong. He got home at the kids' curfew nine at night. It seemed like everyone was telling him to get home early. Temari gave him a present all wrapped up in red ribbon with a note that said 'To:Seiko, From: Auntie Temari.'. Kankuro gave him one of those cheesy birthday cards with a few bills inside, on the cover it read 'To The World's Greatest Niece.'

What made January 16th so special? It was like any other day of the year wasn't it? There was nothing new and exciting about it. He pondered while on the way home.

Neji opened the door for him. There stood Neji in silk white boxers and a white bathrobe left open giving Gaara a chance to see every inch of his sculpted waist that he still had even after three kids. "Hello honey." Gaara greeted taking off his jacket and coming into the warm home.

Neji waited until Gaara was inside and comfortable. Then he slapped him. It was short and quick and not gentle at all. Gaara touched his left cheek wondering what the hell was that for. "How could you have forgot!" "Forgot about what?" Gaara asked.

"Seiko's fourth birthday." "That was today!" "Yes, Gaara, your daughter came into the world four years ago." "That's why Temari gave me that gift and Kankuro gave me that card." He mumbled under his breath. "You don't need to talk to me but go to Seiko's room. She's still crying."

Gaara hanged his head and trudged up the stairs. It was a good thing Seiko didn't have any ninja skills yet or he would have gotten his ass kicked. She did have a temper reminiscent of Temari's. He opened the door slightly to see Seiko crying her very light turquoise eyes out. "Seiko?" Gaara shut the door.

"Oh hi daddy! I thought I heard father open the door." Seiko wiped away her tears. She hated having people see her cry. "I'm really sorry I forgot your birthday pumpkin. I'll make it up to you. Tomorrow I'll watch The Little Mermaid with you." "And sing along to all the songs." "And sing along to all the songs." Seiko smiled and hugged Gaara tightly with her little arms. "I love you daddy!"

Gaara smiled. He screwed up but there was always next year's birthday.

Author's Note: Gaara makes quite the unique dad. He's been unfortunate to draw all the 'bad' ones. It seemed having kids is a real ball buster. If Yura is my favorite then Seiko is a close second. In my head she has the cutest eyes out of any of the children.


	7. Chapter 7

Disclaimer: Naruto is not mine

Being a dad means providing for your family. And that can mean sleepless nights, ulcers, and low-grade fear.

Shikamaru worked harder than he ever did. Something about having kids made him want to not necessarily put more effort into things but he did do a little more missions than usual. Having children also made him sleep less, actually get an ulcer once, and have fear that his children got Kiba's intelligence.

But during those sleepless nights he went to Kiyoshi and Shikavivi's rooms and he saw them sleeping like black haired angels. And when he got that ulcer they drew him pictures. Badly drawn pictures but they were masterpieces in his eyes. And for the low grade fear? Pssh, Kiyoshi and Shikavivi passed with flying colors. Of course someone needed to wake Shikavivi up in time to take the test and not snore during class but she passed.

He loved his bratlings despite the pain.

Authors' Note: Now this one was hard. Curse you Shika why are you such a pain to write. He isn't but why must you always get really hard ones that might go well with someone else but are horrible for you?!?!?!


	8. Chapter 8

Disclaimer:Still don't own Naruto.

Being a dad means making your child feel safe.

"Daddy!" Kita cried. Kakashi came stumbling in the room his eyes still half closed with sleep. Having kids really messed up his sleep system but he came to Kita's aid anyway. "What is it Kita?" He rubbed the sleep away from his grey eyes and walked closer to her bed,

"What's the matter sweetie?" "There's a monster in my closet." She said pointing to said closet with her tiny delicate fingers. Kakashi raised an eyebrow. He hadn't really thought the daughter of two ninjas would be afraid of monsters in the closet but his fatherly instinct ignored it.

"Alright Kita, I'll scare away the monster." Kakashi opened the closet door while Kita hid under the covers. He looked around at the dark messy closet. There was nothing to it but darkness. He sighed and closed it and turned back to Kita.

"The monster went away." "Are you sure?" "Yes, I'm sure and if anything else goes wrong or if a monster comes just tell me and I'll protect you." Kakashi kissed the tip of Kita's nose and went back to his room.

He loved his children, he really did.

Author's Note: Can I just say that Kakashi and Iruka make the cutest kids alive? Their children are just so adorable I want to eat them up with a spoon! Of course getting pass mother hen Iruka might pose as a challenge.


	9. Chapter 9

Disclaimer: Naruto is not my property. He's Sasuke's.

Being a dad means telling them a little blood won't hurt them.

Out of all his children Kushina was the most fragile. Her namesake was a little bit tougher and more hyperactive, but then what would expect from the woman that gave birth to Naruto Uchiha formerly Uzumaki? But this Kushina was definitely not made for being a ninja. And Sasuke was OK with that. He really was fine with the fact that she barely(and when we say barely we do mean _barely_) made it into the Academy. Not graduate but passing an entrance exam to see if you're able to kick a frickin' rock. But he was determined to make at least a half-assed ninja out of her.

"Daddy do I have to do this?" She whined. At the the tender age of six she already showed signs of being a headache on a different level than Kyoko. No, Kushina was a headache when she became a teenager and started developing feelings for people in the romantic way. She spent more time on her hair than on her training. And while she had the best hair in the village she couldn't throw a kunai to save her life. Not that she would ever need to worry about her life being on the line with a dad like Sasuke.

"Yes, Kushina you need to. I don't care if you never make it to Jounin level you should at least be able to defend yourself a little." Sasuke sighed and picked up the kunai that Kushina had thrown. She had missed the target _again. _"Dad, maybe I'm not made for being a ninja. I much rather be a writer than a ninja."

Sasuke looked into onyx eyes that matched his own. "Fine then if you want to be a writer than you can be a writer. I'll love you and be proud of you no matter what." Kushina gave a Naruto-like smile and hugged her father.

There was no way in hell that he was going to pressure his children like his own father did.


	10. Chapter 10

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto

Being a dad means telling your kids to deal with scrapes and bruises by:

A. "Walk it off!"

B. "Blow on it."

C."Run it under cold water."

Gaara despite his mental state and personality at thirteen was not one for blood or violence or cuts and 'boo boo's' at twenty-six. Either that or he didn't have the time to care. He was apathetic to most things.

When Tomo nicknamed Zen by most of the family came in at the age of eight with a cut on his cheek from a kunai(Nobody ever told him the emo style worked for his two dads but not him) Gaara looked up from his paperwork and said this "Run it under cold water." and went back to his work.

A half-hour after Zen left, seven year old Seiko showed up with a bruise of her left leg. Gaara simply told her "Walk it off!" Seiko shrugged and listen to her dad.

Unmei, tiny Unmei of only six, ran into her daddy's office hoping for calming loving words. She should have waited until Neji came back from his shopping to hear those kinds of words. "Daddy, I got a scab." she whimpred her bottom lip quivering. Gaara's eyes softend at his tinest daughter but still apathtic. "Blow on it." Unmei stopped her quviering and went out of the room. She was pretty emotionless for a six year old.

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Author's Note: Unmei is the queen of sass! She's like Gaara, Temari, and Kankuro all thrown into one mix! I'm excited to write about her as a teenager!


	11. Chapter 11

Disclaimer: I do not own the Naruto characters.

Being a dad means telling stories of bravery and adventure.

Shikamaru's children did not know their dad was the number one at running away when he was younger. To them their dad was lazy, smart, and a occasional smoker. He was a strong Jounin and an excellent fighter. Nothing like the cowardly twelve year old people sometimes still saw him as.

Shikavivi, wiggled around in her bed. Her grey covers were tightly wrapped around her five year old body making it a little hard to breath. On the other side of the room her older by six minutes brother Kiyoshi already in bed waiting patiently for Daddy to turn the lights off.

Shikamaru gave one last look at his children and began moving his hand to the light switch. "Daddy no! Can you read us a bedtime story?" Shikavivi pleaded. "Would you like a bedtime story Kiyoshi?" "I don't care."

Shikamaru grabbed the chair from the small desk inside the room. He sighed and sat down in the middle of the two beds. "OK, do you want me to read _Harry Potter_, _Percy Jackson_? What do you guys want?" "We want you to read us a bedtime story about you when you were a genin." Kiyoshi smiled.

"You two really don't want to hear any of my stories. Maybe you want to hear one of Mommy's? He had more brave moments then I did." Shikamaru hoped Kiba wouldn't be passing by. Kiba loathed being called Mommy. Even Kiyoshi and Shikavivi couldn't get away with it.

"We don't want to hear about Mommy. We want to hear about you!" Shikamaru knew that he couldn't influence them, the stubborn gleam in Shikavivi's eyes said it all. Stupid Kiba and his stupid stubbornness. The kids just had to inherent it from him.

"Well, one time..."


	12. Chapter 12

Being a dad means assuring Mom that growing up involves pain and suffering.

Sometimes Kakashi wondered how Iruka made it to Chunin level. Iruka was strong, yes, but the man cried at any sentimental moment. Naruto's wedding? BAM! Tears all over the place. The birth of Naruto's first child. He used up eighteen tissue boxes. On his and Kakashi's wedding day? He _flooded_ the altar. When there kids were being born oh Kami let's not even go there.

So when Kita came running in at the door crying because at the tender age of thirteen her heart was broken, Iruka also had a break down and cried. Kakashi arrived from work(and saving cats from trees) to see Iruka at the dining room table sobbing and the sound of Kita's tears.

"Iruka, babe what's the matter?" Kakashi gently tip-toed over to Iruka. Iruka was dangerous when he was crying. After the tears dried -or sometimes before the tears dried- he could kill a person. Kakashi saw it as a side effect of breaking one of the ninja rules. Show your emotions and you have to make up for it by maiming everyone in sight.

"Kita got her heart broken!" Iruka wailed reaching for a napkin to wipe his tears. Kakashi let go of his first instinct to kill that Nara bastard for hurting his daughter and went to get Iruka a tissue box. He sat the tissue box in front of Iruka and then sat down next to Iruka.

"Iruka, honey there will always be time when our children will get heart-broken." that was the one thing Kakashi knew was going to happen but didn't want to. "And out children will break hearts." he was confident of that one. His children may have Iruka's hair and eye color and skin color but they had his facial features. And anyone could tell you those were top-notch, grade A, drool worthy.

"I know, it just kills me to see it happen. What if this leaves her bitter and scarred?" motherhood really messed up Iruka's hormone balances. Maybe Iruka was always like this but no one ever noticed. "I'm sure Kita won't be bitter and scarred. In a few weeks this will be all gone and she will be the Kita we know and love." Kakashi kissed the top of Iruka's head.

"Are you sure?" "I promise." "Do you want to see if she's OK?" "Sure." truthfully Kakashi didn't want to see if Kita was OK. Kita could be just as violent as Iruka when she was crying. In the end he couldn't say no to the (occasionally violent) love of his life and his (occasionally violent) daughter he- never dreamed- of- having -but- had.

He waled up the stairs slowly following the sobbing. He opened the door to Kita's bedroom ever so slightly. "Kita?"

"Oh Daddy, everything is a mess!" Kita cried mascara/eyeliner running down her cheeks. "No, it's not. Kiyoshi Nara is not the greatest thing in the world and plus he's Kiba's son, he deep down is a perverted dickhead." Kakashi pulled his daughter into a hug.

"Thanks Dad. You can leave now but please don't hurt Kiyoshi." Kakashi smiled down at his daughter and patted her head before shutting the bedroom door on his way out.

He was definitely going to hurt Kiyoshi. Or kill him. Whatever he was in the mood for.

* * *

Author's Note: This is where you get the first taste of the section I'm most excited to do. The teens. Kiyoshi and Kita's relationship will defintely be explored more once we hit the teens. Am the only one who can picture Iruka being one of those really emotional parents? The ones that cry at everything? I can also picture Iruka being one of those violent sad types. I been know to get really mean when I'm sad so most of the time for the sake of others I try to happy.

People have been asking me if I can make these longer and I'm trying to. These are drabbles so they aren't going to be really long but I'll try my best,


	13. Chapter 13

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.

Being a dad meas teaching that happiness isn't a goal but a consequence

Sasuke knew that sooner or later his kids would ask about their uncle. Itachi's picture hanged above the mantle. The children passed by it like it was no big deal. It was there before Kyoko was born and it would be there when Kyoko's great-great grandchildren in the house. No one wondered about it and that made Sasuke calm and in no rush to spill the family secrets.

But Fugaku wondered. He was the youngest but the most mature. He looked like a carbon copy of his grandpa and his uncle. His personality was nicer clone version of theirs. He stared up at that picture every time. His grandma Kushina and grandpa Minato's pictures didn't interest him much although he bowed whenever he passed them as he went to see his Mommy(Naruto unlike Kiba liked, no, loved being called Mommy,)in Mommy's office.

He bowed and prayed to the picture of Grandma Mikoto and Grandpa Fugaku when Daddy brought him and his siblings to their grave every Sunday. But Daddy nor did Mommy ever mention anything about Itachi other than the fact that he was their uncle.

Fugaku was determined to find out more about this mysterious uncle of his. Off to Daddy's study! As he walked Fugaku felt like a superhero. What he was seven years old. Just because he's been hailed a genius doesn't mean he can't like superheros and Dora The Explorer.

Daddy's study was easy to find. It was by far the biggest if not one of the biggest rooms in the compound. The smell of the cologne that Naruto gave to him for Christmas(Because it made Sasuke smell even sexier, not that the children knew this) was all over the place. Sometimes you could even hear Naruto screaming Sasuke's name when they had their wrestling time.

Fugaku walked slowly passing by his older siblings. Rai smiled as he went to his bedroom. Kushina gave him a quick hug as she went to the store to buy make-up. Daisuke patted his head and called him "Squirt." as he went to train. Kyoko gave him a high five as she went to meet up with her teammates.

Fugaku finally reached Daddy's office. The office scared him. The doors were big, looming, something out of a horror movie. It seemed like the kind of doors mafia leaders might have. The leader of the Akatsuki a group Fugaku only knew by name seemed like the type to have doors like these.

He couldn't reach the doorknob so he settled for knocking. "Who is it?" Daddy's voice sounded calm and monotone. Sasuke learned that one of his children or Naruto could be knocking at the door and not just anybody so he tried not to sound too angry to scare any of children. "Fugaku." "Stand back. I'll open the door."

Fugaku moved back a little as the door swung open. Sasuke seemed like a giant in comparison to Fugaku's tiny height. Sasuke picked up Fugaku with no warning and closed the door. Sasuke sat back down in his chair and put Fugaku on his lap.

"What do you want?" the question would have sounded rough and mean if Sasuke addressed to anyone else but to his family his voice was as sweet as monotone honey.

"Can you tell me about Uncle Itachi?" "Why would you want to know about him?" "Because I look like him and we know next to nothing about him?"

Sasuke for once hated his children for inheriting his intelligence. "You're uncle was a great man. The best man. But it was difficult to understand him."

Fugaku leaned in closer needing to hear every detail. "Daddy, after you tell me the story about Uncle Itachi can you tell me about Grandpa Fugaku. I was named after him."

Sasuke stared down at his child. It was like looking at Itachi in smaller form. He hoped his son would grow up to be a little like Itachi. "Of course."

* * *

Author's Note: My very first attempt to increase make these drabbles longer. I failed. I didn't want have Sasuke give the whole story because that might set off spoilers, or more spoilers than I already set off, so yeah that went down the drain.

Of all the male children that Sasuke and Naruto have, Fugaku is my favorite. I know mothers aren't suppose to have favorites and neither are writers but there's something about Fugaku. He shows this potential to be something. He's the youngest and yet the wisest.

Next time I'm going to try to make these longer! Watch me fail!

P.S I bet you're wondering how does this have anything to do with teaching happiness isn't a goal but a consequence well, Sasuke did spend an awful portion of his life trying to kill Itachi but if you're familiar with the story that didn't bring him the most happiness.


	14. Chapter 14

Being a dad means having high expectations for your kids

Gaara didn't consider him to be a perfectionist dad. He wanted his kids to be happy and not weapons of war. But every father wants their kids to be something important. Only a few children out of the many in the world give their fathers that satisfaction but Gaara knew his kids would be one of the lucky few.

He had rounded up all his children and sat them down in his office. Tomo(AKA Zen), Seiko, and Unmei sat down and shared WTF expressions on their faces. Their father was usually busy and on workdays had no time to devote to his children. The kids barely saw him, if he even left the office or meeting room.

"Now, I'm happy to hear that all of you graduated from the academy or in Unmei's case will graduate in about two weeks, sorry I can't make it sweetie." Gaara said from his chair behind the desk.

Unmei rolled her pretty eyes and played with the split ends in her brown hair. "Why are we here? I have to study you know."

"I know but can you spend one moment with your family. I know you can't stand any of us and we're all going to experience hell on Earth when you reach fourteen but Unmei, is it too much to ask?" Gaara shuffled some papers around on his desk. How can Neji say that Unmei was exactly like him?

"Fine." Unmei huffed and crossed her legs.

"I want one of you to follow in my footsteps and become Kazekage."

Seiko raised her hand. "Is that an option?"

"No. It's a requirement one of you will have to be Kazekage."

"That's not fair." Seiko whined kicking invisible dust bunnies.

"Do you think I wanted to become Kazekage?"

"Dad, you tell us the story of how happy you were when you became Kazekage all the time and I counted 2,330 times before Zen was eight." Seiko said serious.

"Zen do you have anything to say?" Gaara asked wanting to bang his head against the desk.

Zen looked down at the floor and chewed the inside of his lip. "Yeah, can I go now? I need to train with my team."

Gaara looked at his children, tilting his head side to side making the occasional whimper. Out of the blue he smiled and let out the loudest laugh his children have ever heard.

"Guys, I think Dad lost it." Seiko turned side to side to look at her older and younger sibling.

"Dad had sanity?"

"Unmei don't be mean." Zen chided.

"I'm just stating a fact of life."

"You guys can go now. I'll see you at dinner on Saturday. Leave." Gaara was now on the floor rolling around laughing and clutching his stomach.

His children left silently trying to remember the phone number of their father's therapist.

* * *

Author's Note: What have I done?

I love the Subaku No-Hyuga family. Mostly because Gaara gets all the bad dad things in the book. I think that matches up with him quite well. Falling in love with Neji was a whirlwind for Gaara and then becoming a father three times in a row?

That's screwed up his already fragile mentality. But I did get to include all the apathetic sarcastic Subaku No-Hyuga children. I think they're my favorite to write about. They're all so alike and really remind me of the Sand Siblings.

Told ya I'd fail at making these drabbles longer!


	15. Chapter 15

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.

Being a dad means being the heavy. It's your job to say no.

"Why can't I go to Kushina's party?" Shikavivi(Or Vivi as she preferred) asked hands on hips. She looked very pretty with her black hair tied up in a messy bun and light eyeshadow. Her lips were covered in clear gloss and she was wearing a pink lace camisole and a jean miniskirt with black tights underneath and a pair of silver kitten heels.

"Because," Shikamaru gave a long, heavy sigh. "It's late and there is no adult supervision at the party. And it's full of teenagers."

"How do you know Mr. and Mr. Uchiha won't be home?"

"I'm good friends with them. And everyone in the village knows about their monthly date week. Naruto shouts from the rooftops."

"C'mon Daddy, Mommy said I could go." Vivi whined loudly.

" Oy! I am not a mother! I'm am your second male parental figure." Kiba shouted from upstairs.

"Yes, yes, we know dear." Shikamaru said. "Now Vivi, like your troublesome mother might have said you were allowed to go he never talked it over with me and he knows how much I worry about you and Kiyoshi."

"But still! Didn't you go to any parties when you were my age?"

"No, they were too troublesome. Kiba was addicted to them. He threw a lot of them himself. I always skipped saying I had to go feed the deer."

"You still do that every time Grandma Tsume invites you over to her house."

"Don't tell her that."

"So can I go to the party?"

"No."

"But Jun Hatake is going to be there!"

"Now you're definitely not going."

* * *

Author's Note: Another one featuring the teenagers. I figured since this has a good chance of being my last up date before 2010 why not make it about the age I'm most excited to write about? The teenagers!

I also get to mention Kiba's disdain for his role as the uke (Even though we all know he likes it) and his hatred for the name Mommy.

Shikavivi is one of my favorite of the girls to write. She's the right blend of Shikamaru and Kiba. She's narcoleptic(Which means she falls into deep sleep at random times) and she's a party girl(Which means she's the girl we all love to hate and want to be like).

Happy 2010!


	16. Chapter 16

Being a dad means being your child's father. Not your child's friend. Dads who get this confused have confused kids.

Kakashi's kids saw him as the "fun" parent, Iruka was the "mean" one(Or as mean as Iruka can get), Kakashi let them ate junk food for all he cared, Iruka made them heaping plates of vegetables and tofu.

But the children never saw Kakashi as a friend figure. Kakashi was too much of a father for that. He may have more fun with the children than Iruka does but he was more willingly to tell his kids when they were about to do something stupid or idiotic or that had done in his youth.

He could give them cookies for dinner(And he does) one night and the next night lock them in their rooms for sneaking out with some random boy/girl. He knew when it was time to be a father and when it was time to be a "friend" he never mixed the two up.

And that is why his children respected him or as much respect they could give him when he was giving them a speech on how he was their father and not their friend while only wearing boxers stamped with smiley faces.

* * *

Author's Note:Gah! This one is too short and it did not come out right! This one was/is really hard. The next one is much easier to write. But this one came out horrible! I'm sorry, the next one will be my best(And hopefully longest) one! If not I will... I can't run a thousand laps in the snow or in non snow, so I will shovel my driveway!


	17. Chapter 17

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.

Being a dad means demanding peace over justice. No matter who hit whom last.

Daisuke and Kushina had this whole sibling rivalry thing going on. Maybe it was because they were so close in age, being only ten months apart(Yes, Sasuke is able to impregnate Naruto that fast. No, they will not be research material for a new Icha Icha novel.) and their rooms being next door to each other.

When they were toddlers and doing that whole hitting thing because they didn't know any better was the worse period in Naruto and Sasuke's child rearing life. Thank Kami that Rai and Fugaku were easier to deal with.

The memories that Naruto and Sasuke had of Daisuke and Kushina when they were toddlers...

"She hit me first." Daisuke pointed to his younger sister a pout forming. At three years old he was already known as a prodigy among villagers. What else do you expect from an Uchiha?

"No, I didn't. He hit me first." Kushina stomped her little foot and pointed back at her older brother.

Naruto gave a sigh. Why did he have children again? Oh right, stupid Sasuke and his need to repopulate the whole damn clan. Couldn't he just want to repopulate half the clan?

"I don't care about who hit who first. What I want to know is why any of you two considered hitting one another? Do you know how lucky you two are to have someone else your age to play with? When I was your age I always wanted a brother or sister."

Kushina and Daisuke looked down at the ground ashamed. Mama never yelled she talked to you in this real tired voice that made them wanna cry.

"We were bored and we both Usa on the floor and we both wanted to play with her." Usa was the bunny plushie that Hinata had gotten for Naruto and Sasuke and any children they would have.

"Couldn't you just have shared?" Naruto knew this question was useless when it came to small children that were spoiled by their parents.

Kushina and Daisuke shook their raven heads. Naruto prayed that if he had anymore kids they would turn out like Sasuke. No, wait that isn't a good idea. Konoha couldn't handle another insufferable emo genius.

But Sasuke had the worse end of the deal...

Sasuke considered himself to be patient when it came to dealing with his children. He wasn't quick to yell and shout at them, at least for now when none of them were teenagers. Daisuke and Kushina tested Sasuke's little theory out everyday.

"Daisuke, Kushina please sit down." Sasuke said. He was ready to snap. They were twelve years old. He made a promise not to yell at them until they were thirteen. Couldn't the months go by faster? Stupid thirteen year long New Year's resolution.

"I'd like to point out that this is all Daisuke's fault. He know how that I have this medical condition that forces me to go to the bathroom first thing in the morning."

"Yeah, the disease is called vanity." Daisuke chortled.

"I'm not vain."

"No but you're middle name is."

"Actually, Kushina's middle name is Mikoto," Sasuke said getting sick and tired of hearing his children's voice. Wow, he never thought he say that. "I want you two to stop your needless arguing. You two need to behave properly. Kyoko never gave me as much trouble as you two did and thank Kami that Rai and Fugaku are angels."

Daisuke and Kushina shifted in their seats. Daisuke hated being compared to his perfect hyperactive annoying sister. He was the prodigy, she wasn't. If Kyoko was better behaved than he was, something was up.

Kushina felt herself get a little sad. After she dropped out of the Academy(Being the first Uchiha in history to not graduate) and had to deal with the whispers of the village gossips and her father and mother's reaction she sought to make her father prouder of her more than anything else she did.

"Why the long faces? Naruto will kick my ass if I make you two cry. And then he'll do his 'I-was-right-Sasuke-was-wrong dance and make a bigger idiot out of himself. If that's possible."

"Daddy, if me and Daisuke promise that we will be the bestest of friends will you not compare us to any of our siblings?" Kushina pleaded doing the puppy dog face. It wasn't as good as the Nara's kids but it would do in a pinch.

Sasuke frowned realizing his mistake. "You and Daisuke don't have to be the bestest of friends I just want you two to stop fighting. It's killing your mother. " Sasuke opened his arms knowing that this moment, as many a parenting book taught him, was a hug moment. The children hugged him.

Daisuke in the middle of hugging his father also realized something. "Wait, Dad I thought you said the only thing that could kill Mommy was if Ichiraku Ramen closed down."

"Don't try to ruin my emotional speech."

* * *

Author's Note: I felt like Sasuke's part was bit forced. I originally planned it just to be Naruto's part but then I decided I wanted to write about how Sasuke would handle the situation. Sasuke and Naruto handle parenting very differently. Just like most mothers and fathers.

This one was bit tough but I got through it. This one also addresses the question of how far apart in age the Uchiha-Uzmaki children are from one another. Here is how it goes.

Kyoko is one year older than Daisuke. Daisuke is ten months older than Kushina. Kushina is two years older than Rai. Rai is three years older than Fugaku. Yeah, Fugaku seems to me was a mistake. But they(And I!) love him anyway. In fact if you remember from chapter 13 I confessed that Fugaku was my favorite of Naruto and Sasuke's kids.


	18. Chapter 18

Disclaimer: Naruto is not mine

Being a dad means teaching your kids that life is unfair

Gaara didn't think that his speech on his high expectations for his children messed them up. They probably didn't even pay attention. His kids weren't like the Uchihas who strive to be the best thing since slice bread. They were like the Hyugas who _are _the greatest thing since slice bread.

Imagine his surprise when he opened the door to a hard day of work and found Temari with a murderous glint in her eyes. Gaara had always been more scared of his sister than his sister being scared of him.

"Thanks to your little speech Unmei is crying because she didn't graduate top of her class."

"How is that possible? I thought the speech told her I wanted her or one of them to be Kazekage. Kazekage don't don't graduate top of their class."

"Do you have any idea how much you sound like an Uchiha or your uncle in law right now?" Temari put her hands on her hips. Kami, Gaara could be such an idiot at times.

Gaara blinked processing this. He did sound an awful lot like Sasuke or Hiashi. He hated his uncle in law and had a sort of friendly rivalry with the Uchiha. Neither were men he wanted to be compared to. "Is Neji comforting her?"

"Of course he is! He grew up watching Hiashi's treatment of Hianta and Hanbi. I'm surprised he didn't smack you for giving that speech!"

As Temari finished her biting words, Neji came down the stairwell. "Unmei graduated second. I think that is good enough. She blamed it on the fact that her sensei is 'faggot hater' and that you should exile him for discrimination. I gave her some cookies and a glass of milk."

"I'm going to talk to her." Gaara raised his hands up. Temari was known for attacks and everyone knows what Neji would do to protect his children.

The door to Unmei's room was ajar and Gaara went inside. Unmei was taking out the chocolate chips in a cookie. Her glass of milk was empty.

Gaara cleared his throat before talking to her. "You know, I never liked that man. He was so homophobic. Even tried to assassinate me once when I became Kazekage."

This piped Unmei's interest and she raised her head to look at her father. Her eyes were bloodshot and tired. It made Gaara think back to the time he forgot Seiko's birthday. He sucked at being a dad.

"He told me you and Father were going to hell. I told him I already knew that you were going to hell because you had a sadistic horny demon inside of you." Unmei said proud to know her family history.

Gaara sweat dropped. Where had his children learned this things? Kankuro was spending too much time with them.

"Honey, they were always be people who hate gay people. Those kinds people do cruel things and even people who aren't gay themselves but only support them get treated cruelly. I should have him arrested or executed."

"It's not even because of that! He could have loved gay guys and cross-dressed for a hobby and I still would have made second! What is great-uncle Hiashi going to think of me now?" Unmei cried standing on top if her bed.

"That you've been spending too much time with Uncle Kankuro."


	19. Chapter 19

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto

Being a dad means making your kids believe they can do it themselves.

Shikamaru wondered why Kiba didn't teach their children how to ride a bike.

Kiba certainly got more use of the bike then Shikamaru did. It was even Hana who gave the bike to the family when they found out Kiba was expecting their first child, saying that it would be a great form of exercise if Kiba wanted to get his body back.

But still for all reasons considered Shikamaru found himself with Kiyoshi one spring day teaching Kiyoshi how to ride a bike.

"OK, it's like riding a tricycle 'cept it's more troublesome because you have to put more work and energy into it." Shikamaru didn't know what was weirder the fact that he was teaching Kiyoshi how to ride a bike or the fact that Shikamaru himself didn't know how to ride a bike.

He knew how bikes worked and how to safely use them and probably knew more about them than the average BMX rider thanks to his intelligence, but he had never gotten on top of a bike and rode it. Kiba never was the sharpest pencil in the pencil box.

"Daddy, do I have to learn how to ride a bike? You don't and you're a great ninja." Kiyoshi's childishly intelligent dark brown eyes stared into his father's.

"It's not about being a ninja it's about having a childhood. Something I was too lazy to have." The whole thing was troublesome. And Kiyoshi had a point. He shouldn't have to learn how to ride a bike if he didn't want to.

"Does that mean I don't need to learn how to ride a bike?" Kioyshi asked tilting his head, curious.

Shikamaru gave a lazy smile/smirk and put his head on top of his son's. "Not if you don't want to."

"But I want to!"

Shikamaru groaned. This was going to be a long day.

What a drag.

And yet he still spent the whole day teaching Kiyoshi how to ride, until he proudly watched Kiyoshi circle the backyard.

What a troublesome drag indeed.

* * *

Author's Note: I don't why but I found this chapter to be so cute. Like out of all the chapters I have written this one is the cutest.

I can picture Shikamaru never knowing how to ride a bike. He would know all the details and mechanics of it but he would never get on it. Kiba on the other hand I can always picture riding a bike. If Kiba was here in the modern day world he would be a BMX rider.


	20. Chapter 20

Disclaimer: Naruto is not my rightful property.

Being a dad means realizing if you don't want to move into a six-bedroom house, you need a vasectomy.

Kakashi hadn't planned on having on four kids. He hadn't planned on having any kids but life and Iruka didn't work out that way. If Iruka wanted to be a biological mother than Iruka would be a biological mother.

Having one kid meant moving into a house and out of Kakashi's apartment. That was hard; leaving the apartment where he had spent all of his adult life. He took away Iruka' virginity in there and conceived Yura. Thankfully they didn't need to spend forever searching for house since Naruto(After becoming Hokage and having an unlimited income) gave one to them, claiming that it was the least he could do to his mother figure and sensei. That was a lie. The least Naruto could do for anybody was shut up.

The house was fine and all until Kita decided to join the family after two years. Having a two year old and a toddler in the same room wouldn't work, so they moved. Thankfully, Kakashi's parents left Kakashi, his childhood home in a will.

It was a bit creepy living in the house where he grew up in. Do you know hard it was to fuck your uke when you swore up and down that the ghosts of your parents haunted the house making sure they were taking good care of their granddaughters.

They found a big apartment when Haruka was born. The apartment was spacious but the rent on it was expensive. They found a way. Naruto found a way actually but Kakashi's pride didn't mention that fact. It was going great until one day...

"Kakashi, I'm pregnant again." Iruka announced at breakfast while the children slept. Kakashi tried not to spit his coffee out.

"Again?"

"Well yes, when you have sex without protection you get pregnant. If you spent Sex Ed paying attention and not making lewd comments then you would know something."

"How do you know that I didn't pay attention. I'm four years older than you. Our relationship would be considered pedophilia."

"I don't think it would have shocked anybody if you were a pedophile. We need to get a bigger house."

Kakashi swallowed. It was time to say goodbye to his little friend

* * *

Author's Note: I just love me some Snarky!Iruka. I have no idea where it came from, the dialogue just started to pour out and I liked it. Sleeping with Kakashi must have some side effect besides a sore backside and constant pregnancies.


	21. Chapter 21

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.

Being a dad means being showing them how to stand up for their rights

Sasuke had faced discrimination for being gay. It died down when Naruto became Hokage(Although that didn't stop a few people from trying to assassinate him) but there were always a select few. The last thing he wanted was for his children to face discrimination for being the child of a gay demon and a gay traitor. But he knew that one of kids would face discrimination It was inevitable. He hadn't expected to happen to Kushina.

Kushina was bisexual. Everyone knew that. She knew it from an early age. Her parents knew it. Thy also knew because she was bisexual and damn proud of it that she would have to face the same discrimination they did.

"Daddy, do I have to do this?" Kushina whined. Sasuke had a very visual flashback to the time when Kushina was six and the world's most hopeless ninja.

"Kushina, you will meet someone that doesn't like you for the fact that you're bisexual. I wish this problem would go away and one day it will if there's hope but until then you're going to learn to like going to gay parades where it's safe and no homophobes can get in."

"Dad, I refuse to wear that rainbow shirt. It won't go with my hair color."

"Kushina, you have black hair. Everything goes with me. Trust me alright I'm your father and a gay guy. We know our fashion very well."

"The why does Sai wear those belly shirts?"

"Because Sai's bi."

"Dad, I love how you're trying to help me can I skip the gay parade?"

"Sure, I just want you to know that a gay parade is a terrific way to get more rights for gay people. There is always a petition going for some right or another. Not just in Konoha but acround the world. If you want more rights then you need to participate." Kushina looked at the shirt her dad held in his hand. It was white and had a rainbow streaking across it. It wasn't so bad. She could handle it.

"Dad, let's go to the gay parade."

* * *

Author's Note: Another short one. One thing I find in mpreg fanfiction is that none of the kids come out gay. They have no problems with two dads or two moms but the son of the two dads and the daughter of the two moms or vice versa will fall in love with each other. It's like since the two dads use to date the two moms before each of them found out they were gay let's make the kids date each other or something like that. Maybe fanfic authors know what a tough time gay kids of gay parents have because of the homophobes saying "So it is genetic" or "The parents obviously taught their kids how to suck dick" or other nonsense shit.

So Kushina is bisexual and she is the daughter of two gay men. She would be bisexual if she were the daughter of a man and a woman. She isn't the only second generation gay. There will be more. I won't tell who.


	22. Chapter 22

Disclaimer: Naruto belongs to Kishimoto-sama not me.

Being a dad means understanding that food stolen off your plate tastes better to your kids than any other food in the world.

Gaara was the type of kid who always ate whatever was on his plate. He was the type of kid who grew up into the type of man that always ate what was put in front of him. It didn't hurt that his taste in food were different than everyone else's. Imagine to his surprise and pride when little Tomo(Zen as his friends and family and in general the world calls him) after grasping the concept of chewing and other things needed to eat solid foods fell in love with salted tongue and gizzard just like his dear old dad.

"You have brainwashed my nephew." Temari declared as she entered the dining room with a plate full of normal food.

"What?" Gaara asked looking up from his reports in time to see Zen's little plastic fork reach for his plate of tongue and gizzard.

"Hello Daddy." Zen gave a cheeky smile.

"You know what? I'm only going to let you eat these, so you can gross out Aunt Temari."

* * *

Author's Note: The last line seemed something that Kankuro would say and not Gaara. But I know that having kids seriously messed up Gaara's way of thinking and since this is mpreg I'm allowed to get crackish once in a while.

I personally think I do a good job of staying true to the characters' personalities.


	23. Chapter 23

Disclaimer: I will never own Naruto unless miracles do come true and Kankuro is my husband.

Being a dad means showing your kids how to fix stuff. It helps, of course, if you know how to fix stuff.

Shikamaru was sure that the force of the universe hated him. The force of the universe being Kiba. Teaching Shikavivi and Kiyoshi how to fix the kitchen sink was the worst idea Kiba ever had. And that is saying a lot.

Vivi could care less and Kiyoshi was far too nerdy to be even let near anything that didn't require a textbook. Shikamaru knew how to fix a kitchen sink it was just such a drag. The pipes and the wrenches and the moving of the arms and the occasional squatting... weren't there people who got money for this kind of shit?

"OK kids, I'm going to show you how to fix the kitchen sink." Shikamaru said to an un-caring audience. Vivi was asleep and Kiyoshi sat there staring down at his hands. The children were seated at the kitchen table and Shikamaru was standing up his hand gripping the counter where the kitchen sink was.

"Dad, Vivi fell asleep and you know it's impossible to break her out of it. It's going to take like fifteen more minutes or possibly even more before she wakes up." Kiyoshi pointed with his thumb to his sister.

Shikamaru sighed. "Troublesome. It wasn't like she was going to pay attention anyway. Leave her there. If she falls off the chair then good. That usually wakes her up."

"We're not going to be doing any kitchen sink fixing are we Dad?"

"No, cause it's a drag and your mother-" Shikamaru paused when he heard Kiba's voice say "Oy! For the last fucking time I am not a mother!"

Shikamaru continued. "Like I was saying your mother is going to bitch at me but it's worth it. Go get me a phone book."


	24. Chapter 24

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.

Being a dad means you have to get off the couch

"Daddy, do you want me to show you the dance that I'm doing for the recital?" Yura asked hopeful.

"Let me finish this chapter of Icha Icha." Yura rolled her light brown eyes. "Finish this chapter of Icha Icha" meant finish the chapter and go look for your mother to have "Mommy-Daddy time" behind the bedroom door. Yura stomped away, Kakashi didn't even notice.

Kita came in holding a brush shortly after Yura had left. "Dad, can you brush my hair?"

"Not now, sweetie Daddy's reading." Kita left as soon as the words "not now" left Kakashi's mouth.

"Daddy, Mommy wants you to make dinner." Haruka announced.

"Tell Mommy, Daddy's reading." Haruka sighed and walked away. Shortly after, Jun appeared.

"Daddy, Mommy says that you need to get off the couch or you're sleeping on the couch." Kakashi got up the couch and patted his son on the head.

"Let this be a lesson for you. Women are the scariest thing you've ever encountered."

* * *

Author's Note's: Snarky!Iruka makes another appearance. I couldn't think of anything else but I like Snarky!Iruka. He's fun to write and after four kids you change. I was kind of sad that this one didn't go to Gaara since he tend to get all the 'bad dad' ones but this one fits Kakashi better. Sorry for the shortness!


	25. Chapter 25

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto

Being a dad means giving your kids courage

"Go on," Sasuke pushed Fugaku to the front of the stage.

"Dad, I can't do this. Why do we even have to give speeches? You didn't have do."

"I know, but Naruto decided to change the rules of the academy around."

"He can do that?"

"Yes. People allow your other father to make life-changing decisions. I don't know why either. Konoha was desperate for a Hokage."

"Dad, I can't this give speech." Fugaku sighed and let his shoulders slouched. He looked so much like Naruto when he did that.

"Yes you can. You're an Uchiha you kind of have to. Unless you choose to follow in your Papa's footsteps and please for the love of Kami don't."

Something in Sasuke's little Uzamaki family rant Fugaku worked up the courage to give his speech. "Dad, I'm going to give that speech. Believe it dattebayo!"

* * *

Author's Note: I'm embarrassed at how short this is. I think my favorite line so far in this collection is Fugaku's "believe it dattebayo" he's so much like an Uchiha that I needed to raise Sasuke's blood pressure about something!


	26. Chapter 26

Disclaimer: Naruto is still not my property. Santa was being mean.

Being a dad takes balls-baseballs,footballs,soccer balls,dodge balls,basketballs,tennis balls, and other spherical or semispherical objects.

Gaara cursed whoever invented sports. He was physically fit, after all he was the Kazekage, but when it came down to regular sports he was a skinny emo kid who always got picked last and spent most of the time on the bleachers cutting himself. But by some horrible chance Temari introduced the kids to the wonderful world of sports. When it came down to regular sports, Temari was the most likely lesbian jock that all the guys wanted to be like.

Zen took a particular liking to baseball. Gaara got hit in the eyes roughly fifty times per game. End of baseball with Daddy. Neji,despite his meticulous care for his hair, was a much better match.

Gaara wasn't sure if he wanted to know where Seiko learned how to play American football. She was so good at it that her skill brought Temari to tears. After a game of touch football the only one playing American football with Seiko was Temari and people who had extreme,_ extreme_ death wishes.

Football or as those Americans called it soccer. Unmei's favorite sport. Gaara hadn't seen anything wrong with the sport and even followed the Japanese team himself. It wasn't until a football/soccer ball hit him too many times in the fact, that the World Cup stopped being important.

It went this way with every other sport. Dodge ball(Gaara still had the bruise), basketball(Let's not even go there), tennis(Who came up with the idea that every rich person liked to play it?), Gaara hated them.

But now he had the scars of a father.

* * *

Author's Note: This is sort of my post of Naruto high schools AU. AU high school is so overused and sometimes people get them wrong. Unless the Naruto characters attend an American high school there can't be four years. Japanese high schools only have three years. The first year of high school here in America is the last year of middle school in Japan.

_But_ I'll admit that I do enjoy reading them. I probably will never write one but I like a few of them. I agree that Gaara is a whiny emo kid but no one ever makes Temari a soft butch lesbian which I can totally see her as!

What is your opinion on high school AU's? Overdone and the same or like a fairytale, a classic meant to be told again and again?


	27. Chapter 27

Disclaimer: Naruto is not mine

Being a dad means teaching your kids to stand on their own two feet. Literally and philosophically.

Kiba had handed the responsibility of teaching Kiyoshi and Shikavivi to walk to Shikamaru. It was hard teaching one kid to walk, imagine teaching twins. Not only two but two at the same time. The most troublesome in the world. Before being married and after being a ninja.

"Seriously, can't you guys learn how to walk on your own?" Shikamaru mumbled to the two toddlers in front of him. They were sucking on their pacifiers staring up at their Papa wondering what this was all leading to. Shikamaru sighed. "I guess we have to do this. C'mon on." Shikamaru did a rapid hand-sign and created two shadow hands to hold Shikavivi's hands in the air while he held Kiyoshi's.

He lead them around the room for a bit until he deiced to break the hand sign and let go. He sucked in his breath and hoped Kiyo and Vivi didn't fall. Kiba was a bit overprotective of his children. To his surprise and pride the children were walking/wobbling fine on their own.

He felt kinda good that he had been the one to teach his kids how to walk.

Years later the Kiyoshi and Shikavivi took the chunin exams. Just like their good ole' dad they passed on the first try. Actually Shikavivi passed on the second try but she demanded a rematch soon as her first battle was done that it counted as one. Or at least that what's she said to the ref before he could say otherwise.

"Thanks dad." Vivi hugged her father tightly. "Kiyo, get in on the hug." Kiyo looked onto the scene warily. He was book-smart not emotion-smart. Don't think he's like an Uchiha. He has plenty of emotions, he's just what Shikamaru would be like with slightly less laziness and even more intelligence.

But he joined in on the hug. "What is this for?" Shikamaru asked. His children were covered in battle scars and he knew the hug was causing them a slight bit of pain.

"For teaching us how to walk."

* * *

Author's Note: If it wasn't so late at night when I was writing this, I might have cried. This one has to be the most tear-jerking. I can totally see something like this happening to Shikamaru. This one also mentions where fatherhood would fall into the lives of Sasuke, Gaara. Shikamaru, and Kakashi. Being a ninja is the hardest. Being a husband is the easiest. And being a dad is right in the middle.


	28. Chapter 28

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto

Being a dad means letting them live without being the center of attention all the time.

Kakashi knew the day Jun went to the Ninja Academy would be the hardest of Jun's life for the both of them. Jun was the youngest, and the most babied. His older sisters loved to take care of him and Kakashi and Iruka would be lying if they didn't spoil him.

But the time came when Jun went to the Ninja Academy and Iruka with a heavy heart put Jun in a different classroom from the one he taught. Kakashi walked Jun to the Ninja Academy wondering what was the best way to put it. Jun was going to be in a place where he wasn't the star. Kakashi looked at his watch. They had time.

"Jun, are you excited to start school?" Kakashi asked looking down.

Jun looked up at him and smiled. "Yes! I can't wait to meet everyone!"

"Jun, you know that in class you can't expect to be the center of attention all the time. That you have to share with other people."

"I know that, I share all the time with Yura, Kita, and Haruka."

"The kids in your class are going to be a little different than your sisters." Kakashi held up two fingers to show how little.

"Wait do you mean different?" Jun stared up at him with big round brown eyes.

"Some of them are going to be mean and might not like you. But you have to ignore those bullies and don't fight back or whatever they teach you there now."

"Daddy didn't you use to be a sensei?"

"Yes but not at the Academy I don't people who graduated from the Academy."

"When I graduate from the Academy can I be with you since I won't get to be with Papa Iruka?" Jun squeezed his father's hand.

"Afraid not squirt." Kakashi squeezed back and smiled a masked smile.

"Daddy, we're late." Jun peered at his Daddy's watch.

"Tell them you were helping an old lady cross the street."


	29. Chapter 29

Disclaimer:I do not own Naruto.

Being a dad means making sure you live in a neighborhood safe enough for kids.

The Uchiha compound was in a rich district of Kohona, near the Hguya compound. The district was completely safe and the Uchiha compound was large enough and guarded enough that the danger of crime was no existent. Still, Sasuke had his thoughts on the place. Naruto was more vocal with his thoughts.

"Why can't we live in the Hokage Mansion?" He cried whenever he and Sasuke had their dessert together. They ate dinner as a family, the children preferred not to watch dessert.

"Because this is the house I grew up in and all my memories are here." Sasuke took a spoonful of strawberry shortcake.

"Does this tie up in your little goal? The Hokage Mansion is where the Hokage lives! I'm the Hokage!"

"I thought your dream was to be Hokage not live in the housing that comes with it."

"But the housing is the best part! Have you seen the pool? And the Hokage Mansion is safer than the Uchiha compound."

Sasuke pondered this for a moment. The Hokage Mansion was indeed in a safer neighborhood than the Uchiha compound. It wasn't as heavily guarded mostly because the Hokage, himself didn't live there, but still if they moved they would have all the Uchiha guards and all the Hokage guards to watch over them. "I have a better idea why not bring the guards here?"

"Because the Uchiha compound doesn't have a pool!"

"Is this about the safety of our children or your obsession with having a pool?"

"A little of both."

Sasuke looked out the window. The main dining room was located right in the main house near the front where you, if tall enough, could look over the gate and see the Hguya compound on one side and trees leading to main Kohona on the other. There were trees and Hguyas. Both of them safe. The trees stayed mostly inside the Hguyas.

* * *

Author's Note: Happy Easter everyone! The last part is referring to the trees up the Hguyas behind, which Sasuke can't be complaining about since he used to have one.

Once again have a happy Easter, if you don't celebrate then join the club! But even if you don't go buy yourself a chocolate bunny from whatever is open today.


	30. Chapter 30

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.

Being a dad means having more confidence in your kids than they have in themselves.

Gaara gave that now infamous speech because he knew his children would be something in their lives.

When Zen was nervous that he wasn't going to pass his graduation exam, Gaara didn't bother listening to his concerns. Zen graduated first in his class.

When Seiko was scared that people who ran the chunin exams would give her special treatment for being the Kazekage's daughter, Gaara didn't demand that the chunin examiners treated Seiko any differently than any other participant(because that's really asking for special treatment) he simply said that she wasn't that special. He didn't know if the slap from Neji was worth it. Seiko didn't get any special treatment since she passed but wasn't the best one there.

When Unmei was hesitant to visit her Great-Uncle Hiashi after she graduated second. Gaara knew she had nothing to worry. Great-Uncle Hiashi had been very well notified that he had to treat his grand nieces and nephews with the utmost respect back when Neji was heavily pregnant with Zen. He could act like a major dick to them he just couldn't go overboard and hurt them. Hiashi knew he was strong but he wasn't that strong.

Gaara knew his children were going to be great after all they were_ his_ children.


	31. Chapter 31

Disclaimer:I do not own Naruto

Being a dad means realizing the only way to avoid sibling rivalry is to avoid siblings.

"Kiyoshi! Get the fuck out of the bathroom its my turn to use it!" Vivi slammed her fists against the bathroom door.

In his and Kiba's bedroom only two lovely doors down from the bathroom, Shikamaru stirred in his sleep. It was the wonderful sounds of the morning arriving. Sadly, Shikavivi and Kiyoshi's fighting still hasn't become white noise.

"I just got in here! And if you wanted to use the bathroom first then wake up earlier!" Kiyoshi, no matter how nerdy he may seen, was still suspect to sibling rivalry.

That's where Shikamaru's plan of having two kids, marrying a not too ugly-not too pretty girl, and retiring failed. He shouldn't have wanted two kids because that meant siblings. Siblings who fought with each other. When Kiba got pregnant, he knew this baby would be the only one and there would be no siblings rivalry.

Until, you know, Kiba found out he was having twins.

* * *

Author's Note: Yes, for all of you that were wondering, Kiyoshi and Shikavivi are twins. I don't know why Shikamaru wants to have kids because I can't picture him dealing with sibling rivalry but I guess that's the way he(Kishimoto-sensei) thinks. And sorry for the shortness but I did get this chapter out quicker than the last one!


	32. Chapter 32

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto

Being a dad means realizing life doesn't get any better than this. Ever.

Kakashi didn't think he would enjoy fatherhood so much. He actually had more fun being a dad than any other thing that had happen to him. Sometimes he thought he enjoyed doing fatherly things like teaching them how to walk or helping them with their homework than reading Icha Icha Paradise.

Everyday that he woke up and spent with his children seemed like a present. They were the joys of his life and nothing would ever change that.

At times he was lazy and not one for getting off the couch and helping them or Iruka do something(He enjoyed spending time with them more than he did Icha Icha. He never said which one he spent more time doing) but he cared about them.

And that for the best things in his life, was enough.

* * *

Author's Note: This has to be the sappiest one I wrote and some serious Kakashi OOC. There will be a few more sappy ones(or a lot remember, 1001 chapters) but I hope you enjoyed the sappiness and a fun fact about this chapter: This one has no spelling errors or grammar errors.


	33. Chapter 33

Disclaimer: Naruto is not my property

Being a dad means understanding how dumb you are depends on the age of your child:

0 to 6 yeas old

Dad knows everything

6 to 8 years old

Dad knows almost everything

8 to 12 years old

Dad knows many things

12 to 16 years old

Dad knows one or two things

16 to 20 years old

Maybe Dad does know one or two things

23 to 25 years old

Actually, Dad knows many things

Over 25

Dad knows everything

When his children were newborns to the time they started the Academy, Sasuke knew what to do. He read all the parenting books(because Naruto obviously wasn't going to) and knew what to expect he was prepared for anything and everything.

When his kids got between six and eight he started losing some knowledge. They were growing up into independent people yet they still needed their good ole' daddy. Because they would always need him right?

When they got to the pre-teen stage he knew what was going on. Sorta. The kids were growing rebellious and for the first time he briefly wondered if his kids would stop needing him and letting him know what was going on in their lives. But he quickly shrugged the idea. His kids would always need their father.

When they became teenagers he sort of lost touch. He knew bits and pieces of their lives and when they started becoming legal adults they shared a few things but nothing all informing.

When they became real adults and started to get their own lives, he knew quite a bit. Not everything but enough that he could deal with his life and not calling them every second and a half.

And when they started reaching thirty? Daddy was right back where he started.

Knower of all.

Author's Note: Sorry this took so long! This is actually the last bullet point of the first chapter of 1001 things it means to be a dad by Harry H. Harrison Jr called Dad Rules. It had no specific age which is the chapters covered so many different ages the next chapter is Fathers-To-Be which will focus on the mpreg of this story.


	34. Chapter 34

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.

Being a dad means secretly panicking after hearing the news your wife's pregnant, accompanied by feelings of nausea, doom, and the need to hold on to the remote control.

"Gaara, I'm pregnant." Neji said as he stepped in front of the TV.

"Can you move a little? I'm trying to watch the Style network. Wait, what did you say?"

"I'm pregnant. With a child. Your child obviously. In a couple of months there will be a genetically mixed result of us having sex crying around the house. Do you want me to spell it out for you?"

"No." Neji never heard Gaara's voice sound so shaky and uncertain.

"I'm going to the supermarket and buy myself some cookie dough ice cream. Call me if you need anything." Gaara stared at Neji as he walked out of the living room and to the front door, pausing to get his coat off the coat rack. He was going to be a dad.

You may start praying.

Author's Note: The first of the mpreg in this mpreg story. Took a while. I was thinking about making Gaara watch the Emo network, because the Style network seemed to stereotypically gay and with the Emo network Sasuke would have something to do with his free time but I decided against it. The image of Gaara watching the Style network is too humorous.


	35. Chapter 35

Disclaimer: Naruto is not mine neither is the book 1001 Things It Means To Be a Dad by Harry H. Harrison

Being a dad means showing unrestrained joy at the color of her urine.

There was a little problem called hematuria. It was the presence of blood in pregnant women and men. It wasn't a very good sign and no husband wanted to see his wife get it. There are two types to this condition, gross hematuria was visible to the naked eye but another kind, microscopic hematuria required a microscopic exam. So even with no blood being show, Shikamaru still dragged Kiba to the hospital.

"Shika! I thought you said hospitals were too troublesome to be in. And I was in the middle of eating!" Kiba whined in their room as they waited for the exam results.

"I know but I don't want to take any chances." Shikamaru was dying for a cigarette, he quit but now he could see why Asuma smoked. It certainly did help the stress.

"Aww Shika! You really do care." Kiba said.

"Of course, its just that caring is such a drag."

Author's Note: (Warning! Very long apology!)

I know, I'm alive. I was in the middle of writing #35 when my computer suffered a serious crash and only got fixed now. Actually, fixed isn't the right word considering I'm writing this from a new laptop. Even though it isn't the sexy one I wanted. But I'm back to writing fanfiction. Is it on the sexy HP I wanted? No. Will it work to write fanfiction and am I slowly getting attached to it? Yes.

But that's not all. As a special treat to all those who stuck through I have something for you guys. I will be now uploading a new chapter every day of the week. Not just for the first week of my return but intil this fanfic is over.

I will also be continuing work on my two other fanfictions and I have plans for three, maybe four, but definitely three new fanfictions.

See you all tomorrow!


	36. Chapter 36

Disclaimer: Naruto does not belong to me

Being a dad means realizing one of the most important things you can do for your baby is to love his mother

Kakashi loved Iruka more than anything. It was evident by the flowers, PDA, and Iruka's limp. Iruka was the great love of Kakashi's life and Kakashi only found that love increased when he found out Iruka was preganant.

Kakashi vaguely read/heard somewhere that babies need both of their parents and develop their view on relationships from viewing their parents. Kakashi wanted to be around his children and he wanted to love Iruka forever and ever.

"You know that I love you right?"Kakashi asked as they lazed about on their couch, hands on Iruka's stomach even though nothing had started to show.

"Of course silly." Iruka leaned up and removed Kakashi's mask from his face, giving him a sweet simple kiss.

This drabble has enough fluff to start a cotton candy business. Yeah, a cotton candy business with shirtless Naruto boys sounds good.


	37. Chapter 37

Disclaimer: Naruto isn't mine

Being a dad means determining to influence your child's faith, morals, integrity, and convictions before society does

"Sasuke, what are you doing?" Naruto asked, he had awaken from a wonderful nap where giant bowls of ramen surrounded him to find Sasuke, book in hand, speaking directly to his stomach.

"Making sure our child knows that ramen isn't a food group." Sasuke showed Naruto the book cover. The book was about healthy living and organic diets.

"Did you steal that book from Ino or something? Ramen isn't that bad."

"For your information, I own this book, Ino just happens to have a copy and ramen, isn't bad. Instant ramen equals instant sodium death. Our children are too important to die from something like sodium."

"They're not even born yet and your thinking about them dying. Do you want to jinx something?"

"No, I just don't want ramen around him or her. Now page twenty-three says..." Naruto went back to sleep.

Author's Note: I finished this and uploaded it to Document Manager yesterday but I didn't add it! So today techinally you get two! No, three! This one that counted for yesterday and two today!


	38. Chapter 38

Disclaimer:Naruto isn't mine

Being a dad means praying for your wife and child-ceaselessly.

Gaara knelled down, unsure of how to do this. Did you just kneel down and began to talk? Did you have to say some sort of introduction like a speech or letter? Maybe he was just suppose to say it. But was he even allowed to be here this late? Didn't temples have close and open times. Or were they like convenience stores? 24/7.

"Um, hi? I just want to say I've been meaning to come here for a long time but only now did I get a chance. So if you could just watch over Neji and the baby for me when I'm busy with meetings and stuff. Um bye?"

Gaara stood up and left the temple. Yeah, he did good for someone who never prayed before. His mother would be proud.


	39. Chapter 39

Disclaimer: Naruto isn't mine

Being a dad means being a good husband. Kids never have a good divorce.

Shikamaru wasn't the type to win 'Husband of the Year'. He didn't take out the trash when he was asked, he didn't get up off the couch, and wouldn't wash the dishes on his own time. Completely short of what was advertised in women magazines but Kiba loved him all the same.

Kiba wouldn't take out the trash, wash dishes, and fuck getting off the couch in the middle of Animal Planet. Nothing like the ideal other husband. But he was better than Shikamaru, so to Kiba's intense surprise he went down to the kitchen one day to find Shikamaru cooking _and_ washing dishes.

"Shika, are you OK? Do you want me to call your dad? Your mom? Sakura? The hospital? Some creepy old medicine women?" Kiba sat down at the table watching Shikamaru. "And they said it couldn't be done. I should call up Ino and rub it in her face." Kiba laid back in his chair.

"Don't do that or you'll hurt yourself. I just wanted to cook for you."

"Is the cooking you're doing even edible?" Kiba asked as Shikamaru set the plate down.

"It better be for all the trouble."

Kiba poked at his food with his fork. "Aren't you suppose to cook my favorite food or something?"

"I'm not feeding you beef steak jerky at ten in the morning. My mother will kill me."

"My mom used to when I woke up late for the academy"

"I don't even want to know the amount that has been consumed."

"Oi! I didn't show up late everyday."

"Yeah, because Hana would drag you by your ear."

"You know you thought I was pretty hot back then. " Kiba said giving his signature smirk. \

Shikamaru smiled and rolled his eyes. "Oh yeah, definitely."

Kiba smiled and took a bite of his waffles. "Not bad, could you more syrup."

"I'll be getting second place again, won't I?"


	40. Chapter 40

Disclaimer: Naruto isn't mine

Being a dad means learning it takes some $285,000 to raise a child and thinking you're screwed.

Kakashi stared at the numbers in front of him. According to most money sites it took roughly a whole lot of fucking ryo to raise a kid. There was no way kids could be that expensive. They didn't do much other than cry and complain and you pay the everything in your bank for them.

How many of them did Iruka want? One was enough. Kakashi didn't care if he had to find out whatever a condom was after this one was born that was it. But at the same time babies were pretty cute and in one of the Makeout books a character used his cousin's baby to pick up chicks. Girls did think guys with babies were cute...

No, he was with Iruka now. Married and everything with a kid on the way. A very expensive kid on the way. Kakashi looked up and saw Iruka coming in from work. You know what?

The kid actually seemed worth it.

Author's Note: So short but I like it. I did and the math and if ten yen equal ryo and a dollar is a 100 yen it actually takes 2850,000 ryo to raise a kid. Holy shit.


	41. Chapter 41

Disclaimer: Naruto isn't mine

Being a dad means believing you have about two weeks to get all this figured out-and then eighteen years later, realizing you still don't have it all figured out.

When Naruto announced he was pregnant, Sasuke was happy because that meant clan time and seriously, how hard could raising a kid be? Two weeks after the baby arrived, Sasuke would be on covers of parenting magazines everywhere.

So when two weeks passed after Kyoko was born and Sasuke still hadn't appeared on the cover of any parenting magazines(although he would eventually) and he still hadn't had a decent night sleep(although he would eventually) he wasn't the happiest man on Earth. He was top of his class he had everything figured out. Why couldn't he stop a baby from crying then?

And then when Kyoko was eighteen, when Sasuke had been on plenty of covers of parenting magazines and slept for eight hours each night he couldn't figure out why he couldn't let her go. He had been a great ninja and was the most emotionless man during his teen years and now he didn't know what to do. It was like the start of parenting all over again.

It really pissed him off.

Author's Note: The last line doesn't mean Sasuke is pissed off at parenting but at the fact that he once again isn't in the know how of everything.


	42. Chapter 42

Disclaimer: Naruto isn't mine

Being a dad means listening to your father and your father-in-law talk about raising kids, regardless of what kind of fathers they were.

Hisashi fulfilled the role of Hizashi when it came down to offering Gaara and Neji advice on being fathers. Despite Hisashi not initially(or openly) liking the fact Neji was pregnant he cooled down enough to offer advice on parenting. Gaara didn't want Hisashi's advice. Anybody with a third of a brain knew what kind of father Hisashi was.

"Treat your children with respect." Right like you treated Hinata and Hanabi with respect.

"Spend time with your children." This coming from the man who is the master of late nights at the office.

"Love your children more than anything." And you did?

"Gaara, you don't have to listen to my advice," Hisashi said over his and Gaara's now tri-weekly tea time. "you can do whatever you want to your children, just treat them the way you want to be treated."

Finally Hisashi said something of worth.

Author's Note: Sorry that I didn't put one up yesterday, I was at a party. So today there will be two.


	43. Chapter 43

Disclaimer: Naruto isn't mine neither is the book 1001 Things It Means to Be a Dad

Being a dad means realizing you'll see your wife's body again in about fifteen months

Kiba had/has a nice body. It wasn't too slender(like Neji) but he was thin and had hidden muscles but not that hidden(like Shikamaru's). Of course once Kiba got pregnant, it changed.

The thinness started to fade slowly and then rapidly. The muscles became even more hidden. All in all Kiba physically was starting to look like something else.

Not that inside Kiba was different. He was still Kiba, lovable, cocky, annoying, demanding, troublesome Kiba. So that is why, even though the bed seemed to sink more when Kiba went to sleep, he still demanded the right side of the bed and the remote.

Shikamaru put his hand on Kiba's expanding stomach. "I'm not going to be seeing this in long time."

"Fuck you."

Author's Note: I loved the last two lines they were so purely Kiba and Shikamaru. Shika's line was a little troublesome since I am not like Shika that much but I pulled through.


	44. Chapter 44

Disclaimer: Naruto isn't mine as well as 1001 Things It Means to Be a Dad

Being a dad means discovering that living with a pregnant woman is a lot like living with a woman with PMS. Only she's heavier, moodier, and the symptoms don't go away in a week.

Kakashi had dated women. His biggest dislike about them was during PMS. They bitched, they complained, they loved you one moment and hated you the next. Some of them also got noticeably fatter.

Then he fell in love with Iruka. None bitchy, no complains, always loving, always on the borderline between plump and skinny, with one or two muscles.

And then as someone wanted to ruin all his plans, Iruka got pregnant. And Iruka got heavy.

"Why are you looking at me that way?" Iruka asked as he put on his pants.

"What way?" Kakashi said from his spot in the bed. Iruka had awaken at five, awaken Kakashi at five-ten and got caught up in Kakashi's idea of morning fun until seven.

"The way guys look at fat girls."

"With the utmost love and care."

"Guys who aren't chubby chasers or fat themselves."

"Babe, you know I love you more than anything. I don't care if you're fat or not." Kakashi said pulling the covers up. He was going to back to sleep in the warm, comfy bed.

"Sure you do."

And then Iruka got moody.

"Kakashi, where were you?" Iruka asked sitting at the kitchen table, drumming his fingers.

"Working." Actually no. Kakashi was at the adult store, picking up books and having a browse.

"You were cheating on me, weren't you?" Kakashi took a step back. Those were the kind of things his ex-girlfriends used to say during PMS. Iruka never once(verbally) doubted Kakashi's love for him. "I can't believe it. After everything we've been through." Iruka began to sob and laid his head down on the kitchen table.

Kakashi took the seat next to him and put his arms around Iruka. "Babe, you know I love you and you only."

And repeat.


	45. Chapter 45

Disclaimer: Naruto isn't mine

Being a dad means buying your unborn baby a baseball glove while everyone else is buying teething toys and baby mobiles.

Naruto went out shopping with Hinata to buy things like teething toys and baby mobiles. Sasuke went along most times to make sure the orange count stayed down but every once in a while he did his own personal baby shopping.

More specifically he bought shuriken. He had a shuriken saved up that had been in the family but he was saving that for when his son was older. Right now his son needed a play shuriken, one that he could play with to prepare for his real one.

He went to the baby store and asked if they did commissions. They did and Sasuke requested their weirdest commission to date. A stuffed shuriken the size of pillow.

"Sasuke, look at this one!" Naruto said as he held up a mobile with stars hanging from it. They were sitting in the living room, checking out all the stuff they had bought. Naruto came back with bags of baby goods, Sasuke came back with take-out ramen and the shuriken.

"It's nice."

"And look at the teething toy me and Hinata picked out!" Naruto searched inside the bag and revealed an orange teething toy.

Sasuke winced, he really should have tagged along. "Great." Sasuke struggled out a tone of like.

"Did you get anything besides the take-out?"

"I went to the bank and I also picked up this." Sasuke brought out the stuffed shuriken. "I thought the baby would like it. So he can play with. "

"Its really cute! Do they make stuffed ramen bowls?"


	46. Chapter 46

Disclaimer: Naruto isn't mine

Being a dad means waking up in a cold sweat over the thought of your increased responsibility. This is called "delayed onset maturity."

Gaara took to the news of become a father quite easily it appeared. He was calm and collected, happy but not jumping out of his chair(unlike a certain other emo ninja) in all it was the perfect reaction for Gaara.

That is, unless you saw him at night.

At night Gaara was glad that he couldn't sleep. His dreams would've been better than his actual thoughts. Every night they flooded his mind. Would he have to stop making fun of Kankuro? Would he have stop calling Kankuro an idiot? How would he gently break it to Temari that she couldn't swear? How was he going to break it to Kankuro that his favorite topic of conversation wouldn't be allowed for quite a bit?

Would he have to tell Shukaku to stop being such a horny sadistic demon? Would he have to lie to his child about his grandparents as to not cause mental disturbance? Would he have to read a child-rearing book?

Would he have find a way to sleep to avoid doing work at three in the morning?

Yes, as soon as possible.


	47. Chapter 47

Disclaimer: Naruto isn't mine

Being a dad means striking up conversations about strollers with men at the gym

Shikamaru went to the gym a few times a month. He mostly went to hang out with Chouji(who went for the snack/smoothie bar) and other guys. The other guys he hanged out with at the gym weren't the guys who was bromance partners for life with back in his younger years. They just happened to be in a similar situation around the same time.

One day he was not really reading a book on fathering that Hana had given to him while on the treadmill and then Kakashi commented on Iruka had forced him to read the same book. Sooner or later Sasuke and Gaara, who was in the village for a meeting entered the conversation, leading them to become gym buddy foursome.

"No, Kiba actually thinks I'm going to assemble the Valco Latitude. Seriously, does he have any idea how troublesome that's going to be?" Shikamaru groaned turning the fan on the treadmill on.

"Neji wants the Bugaboo Bee. I'll probably have Temari or Kankuro assemble it." Gaara said. It wasn't often that he came to the gym or when he talked but he fit into the group seamlessly.

"You're lucky. You don't have to assemble it yourself." Shikamaru snorted. "I wish I was in your shoes."

"I don't think you would survive the Style network."

"Good point. Have you heard about the Summit XC?"

"Oh no, please go on."

Author's Note: I'm sorry that I didn't upload one yesterday. I was busy so today there will be two updates!


	48. Chapter 48

Disclaimer: Naruto isn't mine

Being a dad means figuring out how a household can go from being a two-person family supported by two people to being a three-person family supported by one

"I think I'm going to take some time off from teaching after the baby is born." Iruka announced one morning at breakfast.

Kakashi looked up from his cereal bowl and Icha Icha. "Like quit teaching?"

"No! I could never do that!" Iruka looked morally offended. "Just use maternity leave and my vacation days."

"Oh. Well, I have to go get ready." Kakashi said getting up from the table and walking by Iruka, making sure to give a kiss on his forehead.

Iruka blinked and put his hand on the chair. What was Kakashi getting into now?

Kakashi pulled out his calculator and began doing calculations.

How many Icha Icha books he would have to stop buying per month?

Author's Note: Sorry about being short and me barely making it.


	49. Chapter 49

Disclaimer:Being a dad means giving up motorcycling and parachuting. You now have responsibilities.

Sasuke knew that if Itachi hadn't died before Sasuke had kids, Sasuke would have stopped chasing after him. As much as it would have pained him, Sasuke didn't want to put his kids at risks because while he was gone trying to track down Itachi, Itachi had been hiding around the village waiting for the moment Sasuke left.

Being a ninja was dangerous enough but add in extra dangerous activities and hobbies and you the chances of you living to see your kids be born were non-existent.

Thankfully, aside from planning to kill Itachi, Sasuke didn't have too many dangerous hobbies. He did like to do some hardcore training in the Valley of the End. It brought back the painful memories of when he first left Naruto and how much of an idiot he was which encouraged him to train even harder.

Naruto looked at the clock. It was Sasuke's usual training hour and Sasuke was still at home. "Sasuke, shouldn't you be at the Valley by now?" Naruto asked. They were in Naruto's office. Naruto was doing some brought home paperwork and Sasuke was reading a novel/supervising Naruto.

"I'm quitting training at the Valley for awhile." Sasuke said turning a page.

"Why?"

"Because you and the baby are a thousand times more important."

"So you wanna give me a foot massage now?" Naruto asked putting his foot on the recently polished, clean desk.

"No! And put your foot down. Its rude."


	50. Chapter 50

Disclaimer:Naruto isn't mine

Being a dad means painting your media room pink because it's now the nursery

"What the fuck is this?" Gaara asked when coming home from wok one day. A never ending line of painters were entering the Kazekage mansion, a few making sure to bow slightly to the Kazekage.

slightly

"Painters to paint your room pink. It's going to be the new nursery." Neji said observing the painters intently.

"Why?"Gaara asked.

"Because it has just the right amount of space for the baby."

"We have tons of rooms in the house that have the same amount of space."

"I know but this room is close by to ours." Neji said entering the house following the painters.

Gaara shuddered. Now where were he and the guys from the gym going to hang out when they needed to escape?

"And we already moved the TV to the garage." Neji said poking his head out for a moment before going back inside.

Gaara was pretty sure he felt his manliness going down.

Author's Note: Number 50! Can you believe it feels just like yesterday I was debating whether or not to publish this! Only 951 more to go!


	51. Chapter 51

Disclaimer: Naruto isn't mine

Being a dad means asking your wife's doctor how many babies he has delivered and wondering if that's enough experience

"Now how many years you've been working in medicine?" Shikamaru asked. Kiba's doctor looked young, a little too young.

"Nine years." The doctor said. He was "thirty-eight" years old but in reality, he didn't look a day over twenty-nine.

But c'mon nine years? How about ninety? That was enough years. And this twenty-nine year old "doctor" with dimples is going to be delivering Shikamaru's children? And Tsume isn't seeing a problem with this?

Shikamaru looked over at his mother-in-law. Tsume was intent on the doctor's words... and his dimples. "That's amazing doctor." Tsume said. "Nine years."

Shikamaru looked to Hana hoping to see a better, more professional reaction. But no, she too was staring at the doctor's dimples.

Kiba? Kiba wasn't staring at the doctor's dimples. Kiba was staring around the room and at Shikamaru dimpless face. And now was Kiba looking at the doctor's dimples?

Shikamaru groaned. Doctors with dimples were such a drag.


	52. Chapter 52

Disclaimer: Naruto isn't mine

Being a dad means never missing an appointment with the ob-gyn, especially in the beginning.

Kakashi always went to Iruka's ob-gyn appointments. Not because it was filled with woman or the fact that the doctor was quite good looking or the fact that it made him die with laughter, when he found out Iruka, a male as Kakashi can assure you, was going to a _female_ _-orientated_ doctor.

"The baby so far seems healthy but most are this early in the process." The doctor said smiling sweetly. The whole doctor was just so sweet. You could eat her up with a spoon if you were so inclined.

"Thank you." Iruka said getting off the bed. Kakashi couldn't tell who was more sweet the doctor or Iruka.

"It's fine. I love having you around Iruka,. You bring light into the office." The doctor smiled again. She was just so darn cute! She handed Kakashi and Iruka their papers before alerting the receptionist the could starting bring the next patient in.

Above all the cuteness of the doctor, the hilarity of the situation, and a way to kill time, Kakashi knew he would never miss one because he wanted his baby to be perfect.

It already was with a father like Kakashi.


	53. Chapter 53

Disclaimer: Naruto isn't mine

Being a dad means touring the maternity ward with your wife-all the while keeping a vigilant eye out for the vending machines

Sasuke was touring the maternity ward of Konoha hospital with Naruto. The maternity ward was clean and well-lit like most of the hospital but it did have more parenting magazines in the waiting room and cute little animal decorations with pink and blue balloons and signs that said _'Congratulations it's a girl!'_ or _'Congratulations it's a boy!'_

Those were nice and all but Sasuke kept an eye out for the vending machines. He was a Pepsi man and wanted to make sure if he was going to be in a waiting room for three hours then he wanted his favorite soft drink waiting along with him.

At the end of the count he spotted around five vending machines. Three of them being drinks, two being snacks. Sure, none of the snacks were remotely healthy and more like the stuff Chouji used to sneak into class.

But he had Pepsi and with the option of Diet and Oreos, not bad for three hours.


	54. Chapter 54

Disclaimer: Naruto isn't mine

Being a dad means finding out what the health insurance will pay. Some babies cost a big screen TV. Some cost a small car.

As Kazekage Gaara had the best health insurance Suna could get. Even with the best health insurance in Suna, he still had to pay an out of the pocket price. Now, normally the amount paid for out of the pocket costs are spare change for a Kazekage and a Hyuga.

Gaara had basically totaled the cost to two things. The TV that used to be in his once-called-media-room-now-called-nursery and Kankuro's car. Both were nothing major in the finical department for Gaara but it was still nice to know so he could buy a spare TV ahead of time for when the baby didn't need a nursery anymore.

"Alright, so if I add this to seven." Gaara muttered peering at the calculator. "I should have enough to buy a big screen TV. Fuck, that means I can't buy a new TV."Gaara pouted he wanted a new. He sighed.

Another week of Girls Gone Wild, WWE, and the Style Network.

YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG

Author's Note: I was out with my friends and got home late yesterday so today is double update! And do you like my new line break. I'm hoping it shows up. Its YTG! For Youtubegirl!


	55. Chapter 55

Disclaimer:Naruto isn't mine

Being a dad means thinking baby furniture means small prices because, really, how expensive could that small stuff be?

Shikamaru wasn't worried about finances when Kiba announced that they had put off furniture shopping long enough already. Baby furniture were like the size of Tsume's palm. Granted, Tsume had some large palms but that wasn't really important. Not even when they needed to buy two sets of everything.

But imagine Shikamaru's face as he walked into the store and looked at the price of the crib. 179 for one crib? What the fuck? Were the baby product companies out of their freaking minds? They were batshit insane, no doubt about it.

Did they have any clue how many shogi boards he could buy for 179 ryo?

YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG

Author's Note: I would like to apologize for the fail last line. They are the most important part about the drabbles but honestly sometimes they're just so hard to write. It sucks the life out of me.


	56. Chapter 56

Disclaimer: Naruto isn't mine

Being a dad means paying attention to life insurance commercials. And actually paying some.

Kakashi didn't have life insurance like most ninjas. Yes, being ninja came with an optional health care plan and it was a decent health care plan but Kakashi didn't need it because he was single, had no kids, and took life by the horn.

Then he got married and was a dad to be. Most people by then would have signed up for health insurance. Iruka didn't have any for the same reasons. But two months into Iruka's pregnancy, Kakashi was watching TV when a commercial for ninjas to take advantage of the life insurance came on. What Kakashi did still surprises him. He applied for some. The downside of it all?

He missed Boys Gone Crazy.


	57. Chapter 57

Disclaimer: Naruto isn't mine

Being a dad means sitting up alone at night and looking at the MasterCard bill and realizing that, in every sense of the word, you're just getting started.

Sasuke looked at his calculations one more time. There was no fucking way it could be that much. He wasn't to worried about money but still that was a whole lot of zeros. And was this just for the pregnancy stage? There were more costs to come?

Then when you have the baby, you have to buy things like formula and baby food. When they become toddlers things to keep them interested and out of your hair. When they're kids you have to buy things that keep occupied and help them make friends. You had to buy things for every stage of life! Whoever said that kids are the enlightenment to the world was a bigger idiot than Naruto. But not as lovable. Kids are the reason why you need a financial plan and four months saving in the bank.

Fuckin' Itachi and his whole "kill-the-clan"idea.


	58. Chapter 58

Disclaimer: Naruto isn't mine

Being a dad means deciding only the best crib will do for your baby-and then, after pricing out cribs, wondering just how important a crib really is.

"How much is the crib?" Gaara yelled to himself in his office looking at his laptop(he's a PC) not wanting to believe the number. He had wanted only the best crib money could pay but now were cribs that important?

Couldn't you just leave the kid on a really comfy mattress or rug? That's how Gaara was raised. And did he not grow up to be the most well adjusted child on the planet.

Cribs were an over advertised, un-needed part of having a child. It was all just for show. Neji came up behind Gaara and watched as Gaara scribbled out the words 'Buy a crib' on the Post-It Neji had left for him.

"Gaara please tell me that you're only scribbling it out because you found the perfect crib."

Gaara gulped. Pregnant Neji was a bit scary. "Of course honey."

Better safe than sorry and the couch wasn't all the comfortable.


	59. Chapter 59

Disclaimer: Naruto isn't mine

Being a dad means believing that you can put a crib together, opening the box to find two thousand parts and eight pages of instructions, and then, after six hours, realizing you're missing the three most critical pieces.

Shikamaru knew he was smart beyond means. He should have been able to put together a crib in his sleep and in ten minutes flat. When he opened the crib box he didn't expect more parts than could be found in the human body.

The instruction booklet might as well have been a textbook. It was a thick and you really didn't learn anything from it.

And how did ten minutes turn into six hours. It must have been because of daylight savings times. Only explanation.

But Shikamaru got it done. He did it in the way he's always done things with absolute perfection. It was troublesome but dealing with an angry Kiba was worse. As Shikamaru was getting up he noticed two pieces that he had forgotten to add.

Three seconds later, the crib collapsed.


	60. Chapter 60

Disclaimer: Naruto isn't mine

Being a dad means finally getting the crib together at 6:00 a.m only to learn you need to spend more money. On a mattress. Actually, on two of them

Kakashi sighed and wiped off sweat from his brow using his shirt. Ten hours of his life that he was never going to get get back wasted on building a crib. Do you know many Icha Icha books he could read within that time or Girls Gone Wild episodes he could have watched?

Iruka told him to do it earlier but there were so many grandmothers that needed help crossing the street, he had to help each and every single one of them. Speaking of Iruka, his cell phone was vibrating.

Kakashi pulled his cell phone out of his back pocket. "Hello?" Kakashi said with a yawn.

"Did you finish building the crib yet?" Iruka said. Kakashi could hear muffled sounds of children running amok.

"Yes actually."

"Good. You still need buy a mattress. Two actually. Anko has had a room prepared in her bachelorette pad for the baby. The least we could do is buy a mattress for her since she already paid for the crib and built in an hour."

"Alright." Kakashi clicked off. Fuck, that means instead of laying down on his warm bed, he would have to got the baby store again.

Wait, Anko built the crib in an hour?

YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG

Author's Note: I had a lot of fun writing this one. More than I think I had with any other drabble.

I am one of those people that think Anko and Iruka are BFF's for life. Anko is my favorite female character and I just adore her. I imagine that Kakashi and Anko would have this rivalry going on just because I picture them being so alike.

If I had to pair Kakashi up with a girl, and it kills me to say this since KakaIru is my one and only Naruto OTP, it would have to be Anko. Even if I do imagine her not settling down with anyone.

On the subject of OTP's (One True Pairing) which one of the four is yours, if you do have one or if they are of these fours. I'm assuming most of you like all four pairings or at least one of them to be reading these and I'm assuming one or more is your OTP so feel free to share which Naruto pairing is the one you couldn't pair to see being destroyed and seeing the two people with two different people.


	61. Chapter 61

Disclaimer: Naruto isn't mine

Being a dad means telling your wife how blessed your child is to have her for a mother

It was the cheesiest thing on Earth, but Sasuke was truly grateful that he ended up with Naruto, instead of some random ninja girl that he met in some random village during a random mission/vacation.

And he was glad that his child was going to have Naruto for a "mother". Naruto wasn't the sharpest tool in the shed but he was a caring one and one that wanted to have a child. He was the kind of "mother" any child deserved to have.

"Naruto, do you have any idea how lucky our baby is to have you for a mother?"Sasuke said as he and Naruto were relaxing in the living room.

"Yeah, you only said that to be about twenty times today?"

"Idiot! I was trying to be nice?"

"Oi! Who are you calling an idiot you bastard?"

The child was truly lucky to have them as parents.

YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG

Author's Note: Sorry that I didn't have one up yesterday! There should be another one up today or two. Tomorrow's Halloween so I don't know if I'll have enough time to put one up tomorrow. But if I can't have Sunday's one up tonight then I'll squeeze in some time Sunday morning before I have to get ready.


	62. Chapter 62

Disclaimer:Naruto isn't mine

Being a dad means asking God to make you the kind of father He wants you to be.

Fuck. Gaara had to do the most akward things in life to make sure his uncle-in-law was happy about the way he was going to be a father. Praying? Asking to God for help? What on Earth were these crazy things that people talked? A shrine? A temple? A chruch? Those places existed in Suna? Why did nobody tell him this?

"Why did no one tell me what had these kind of things in Suna?" Gaara asked to no one in particular during breakfast.

Temari set her bowl of cereal down and sturggled for words. "Well, Gaara you don't exactly seem like like an altar boy."

"What's an Altar boy?"

"Gaara, why don't I buy _Praying For Dummies_. Think of it as best little brother in the world present." Temari said. She sat down as she and Gaara ate in silence.

"Hey God, can you make me a good dad? Thanks." Temari choked on her cereal.


	63. Chapter 63

Disclaimer: Naruto is not mine

Being a dad means celebrating the fact she's beginning to show.

Shikamaru tried to suppress a grin. It was Halloween and Kiba decided to be a vampire for Halloween and bought the costume in his regular size(actually one up from his regular size) but now the costume made his baby bump a little more noticeable.

"You're showing." Shikamaru said letting the grin break free.

"I know! Now help me button my shirt!" Kiba yelled. Shikamaru got up from where he was laying down on their bed and began to button the button right above Kiba's belly button.

"It's not buttoning." Shikamaru said as he tried to button it twice.

"What do you mean it's buttoning!" Kiba said marching over to the mirror. There was his shirt, unbuttoned.

"You're showing too much." Shikamaru said wrapping his arms around Kiba and laying in his hands on Kiba's stomach.

"Great, this means I have to wear the maternity fairy outfit doesn't it?"

"Mhm."

YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG

Author's Note: Happy Halloween! The last line isn't as good as my usual stock but it fits in.

So, I want to know if you dressed up for Halloween what did you go as? I was a barmaid for pirates! ^ ^! I wanted to be a pirate but the best costume I found was more random barmaid/non-pirate girlfriend-prostitute, of a pirate.


	64. Chapter 64

Disclaimer: Naruto is not mine

Being a dad means giving your wife the side of the bed near the bathroom. She'll be peeing most of the night.

Kakashi usually slept on the left and Iruka on the right. It was the way they were comfortable and they way they had been doing after the first night they slept in the same bed. When they moved in together, the left side of the bed was closer to the door which were closer to the bathroom. It was no problem and there were no complaints.

Everyone knew that pregnant people pee a lot. So when Iruka kept getting back every half hour and walking around the bed to get to the bathroom, he and Kakashi finally switched positions. Iruka now made little noise during his nightly trips to the bathroom. It saddened Kakashi.

He wouldn't be able to see Iruka's cute little ass jiggle as he moved to the bathroom.


	65. Chapter 65

Disclaimer: Naruto is not mine

Being a dad means dealing with a 2:30 a.m food craving for cottage cheese with french dressing and chili peppers. And trying not to gag while your wife gulps it down next to you in bed.

"Sasuke." Naruto poked Sasuke lightly poked Sasuke in his back. "Sasuke!"

"What?" Sasuke mumbled twisting around a little.

"I'm hungry."

"Then go downstairs and get yourself something."

"But we don't have what I want!"

"What do you want? I went grocery shopping yesterday." Sasuke said getting up from the bed.

"Cottage cheese with french dressing on top and diced up chili peppers." Sasuke turned much paler than usual and felt a little vomit developed in his mouth.

"Alright, I'll go to the convenience store." Sasuke said. He pulled on his jeans and kept the black shirt he was sleeping in on.

Sasuke walked to the convenience store and entered the brightly lit emporium. The light burned his eyes. He walked around in a half state of alerted sleep getting the items requested but trying hard not to think about Naruto consuming them.

He bought the things and walked back home. He removed the cottage cheese, squirted some french dressing, and diced the chili peppers into little pieces and sprinkled them on top. He brought back to Naruto who squealed with happiness and ate the whole thing.

Sasuke had never felt so sick in his whole life.

YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG

Author's Note: Today I will try to make it double update. I started writing this last night but I couldn't finish it.

I thought it was funny that the most commonly used pregnancy sympton would go to the most commonly used mpreg couple.


	66. Chapter 66

Disclaimer: Naruto isn't mine

Being a dad means waking up at night just to play with your still-in-the-womb baby. Then once you get it rocking and rolling and kicking, you kiss your wife, roll over, and go to sleep.

Gaara didn't sleep and he needed something to occupy the time. Harry Potter did get boring after you read the whole series for the tenth time. He would read other books, mediate, organize things, whatever could keep him awake.

But when the doctor announced that the baby would know respond to touches Gaara got decided why not have some fun with it. He would rub Neji's stomach and soon the baby would begin to kick and roll around. Gaara would kiss Neji and excuse himself to do paperwork.

Neji was pretty sure he would develop a case of accidental insomnia for all the times he has been awaken by Gaara and not allowed to go back to sleep by the baby.

YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG

Author's Note: Wow, one with no dialogue! How do you guys like it? I'm iffy about doing drabbles with no dialogue even though some of them are better without.

In the mom book there is a companion to this one but funny enough the mom one isn't 66.


	67. Chapter 67

Disclaimer: Naruto isn't mine

Being a dad means realizing that last month's maternity clothes don't necessarily fit this month's maternity body.

Seeing Kiba need new maternity clothes was quite funny. Shikamaru liked to separate into three different stages of denial.

Stage One: Comment on how old clothes still fit like a charm

"Kiba, don't you think its time for some new clothes?" Shikamaru said as Kiba came down the stairs. Kiba was struggling to button up his pants.

"I bought these clothes last month! I don't need new ones!" Kiba snapped. How could his clothes not be fitting?

"Yeah, but you gain weight and its a lot less troublesome to just pay you new clothes than it is to spend an hour getting the old clothes on."

"Its not a matter of troublesome! Its a matter of me not wanting to get new clothes and saving money."

Stage Two: Complain during the walk to the maternity clothing store

"Shika, I don't need new clothes. My clothes back home are perfect. I can wear them." Kiba explained pouting. He and Shika were walking to the maternity clothes store, which wasn't that far from their house. It was an OK walk, it would have been shorter going on Akamaru but Yoshino Nara wasn't going to risk having anything happen to her grand babies.

"If your old clothes are perfect than why did we have to spend half an hour just pulling your shirt down?"

"Because the shirt was angry with us."

"Just like your pants."

Stage Three: Give up and suck up all sense of dignity and a buy a shirt.

"How about this one?" Kiba asked leaving the dressing room. He was wearing a white shirt that said in yellow and green graffiti style letters 'Don't Worry It's Not Yours'

"Great, can we leave now?"

"You're the one who wanted to come here in the first place!"

And then the three stages of Shikamaru suffering in clothing stores began.

YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG

Author's Note: Tonight I will try to make it double update to make up for yesterday! I really liked this one and had fun with it.


	68. Chapter 68

Disclaimer: Naruto isn't mine

Being a dad means finding out your once dainty flower of femininity now passes gas like a linebacker. The dog can get up and leave, but you can't.

Iruka was never truly a masculine man. He wasn't the stereotypical gay either, he just didn't sit around, watch TV, and drink beer. He graded papers and washed dishes. But as his pregnancy went on Iruka started taking on more manly hobbies.

He didn't drink beer or watch sports, although now that he was on leave, he would sometimes watch a game just to keep his mind occupied. He also began to crave beans which caused him to do potentially the manliest of all activities. Pass gas.

It was at these moments when Pakkun would get up. Iruka, bless his soul, never noticed anything and just paid attention to the TV.

"I'm leaving." Pakkun said after Iruka had let one rip.

"No, you're not." Kakashi whispered to Pakkun after checking to make sure Iruka was still giving the TV most of his attention.

"Yes, I am. He's your husband, you knocked him up, now you deal with it."

Kakashi had such horrible summons.


	69. Chapter 69

Disclaimer: Naruto isn't mine

Being a dad means talking to other men in restrooms about baby names.

Sasuke was washing his hands in the restroom at the same time Shikamaru was and decided to get Shikamaru's opinion on something. "Hey, all the Naras have a Shika in their name right?"

"Yeah. The guys at least. Why you asking?"

"I'm thinking about naming the baby after Mikoto."

"Naming babies after relatives is kinda bleh."

"This coming from the guy whose family names them after deer."

"Do you have any other name you were considering?"

"Yeah, Kyoko."

"That isn't a bad name."

"It's Naruto choice. It is a nice name. Kyoko Uchiha. Has a ring to it doesn't it?"

"A thousand times more ring to it than Kiyoshi and Shikavivi Nara."

"Ouch."

"Tell me about it."

YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG

Author's Note: My favorite number! Since the last couple of drabbles had no dialogue I think that this one was in need of being dialogue-heavy.


	70. Chapter 70

Disclaimer: Naruto isn't mine

Being a dad means thinking, _How hard could it be to name a baby?_

The answer is a lot. It took every ounce of sweat, blood, and tears to name a baby. Neji wanted his child to have a meaningful name. Gaara just wanted to give the child a name with a better meaning than the one he had.

Their first child was to be a boy and they were stuck on a name. "Zen is the best name for the baby." Neji announced closing the baby name book on his lap.

"I always liked the name Tomo." Kankuro said.

"Then when you have a kid, Kami, forbid, the day that happens you can name the kid Tomo." Neji snapped.

"I always liked-"

"You don't like anything." Neji said giving Gaara the death glare of the century.

"Yes dear."

YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-

Author's Note: I almost considered including the story behind why Tomo is named Tomo and not Zen like Neji was determined to name him. But I don't know if I can squeeze it in a later chapter. But if I can't, then I will make it a seperate chapter.


	71. Chapter 71

Disclaimer:Naruto is not mine

Being a dad means learning that arguing with a pregnant woman is suicidal.

"I don't see why we can't name the baby Shikavivi. It has Shika in it and isn't that what counts in your family." Kiba said crossing his arms.

"Shika is used for boys. And Shikavivi just sounds weird." Shikamaru said with a little bit of exasperation. He didn't see what was so hard about understanding that giving their daughter the name Shikavivi, Kiba was setting her up for a lifetime of teasing.

"Are you saying the names I picked out are stupid? I defended you when you only mentioned _once_ to your dad that you were thinking about naming our son Kiyoshi. And I stood up for you when you announced that we were naming the kid Kiyoshi."

"I know and I love you for it but its just troublesome having to explain to our daughter why we named her that and explaining to the people that are going to be looking at us like we have three heads because we named our daughter that."

"Shika, you're sleeping on the couch tonight."

"What a drag." Shikamaru said rolling his eyes. Kiba's pregnancy was beyond troublesome.

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Author's Note: How many of you guys expected Shikamaru to be the one to suggest Shikavivi to be named what she is?


	72. Chapter 72

Disclaimer:Naruto isn't mine

Being a dad means quietly airing out the house after your wife takes her prenatal vitamins.

Kakashi wished he was a dog sometimes. Dogs could just go out the doggie door and go play in the backyard and not have to be stuck opening windows. And not to have to try to open, needed to be oiled windows quietly. Honestly, it was a matter of ninja talents, it was matter of Iruka having eyes and ears on the back of his head.

Kakashi wasn't telling you to avoid marrying a teacher. No, if you loved a teacher, go ahead and marry them for all you want. Just be aware that when they're pregnant, prenatal vitamins aren't the best-smelling option out there.

But don't offend your poor teacher. Most of them are quite sweet(unless you marry one of those bitchy ones) and can't handle the fact that their prenatal vitamins leave behind a less than pleasant smell.

So, as the dogs raced each other to the doggie window, Kakashi looked at them with intense envy.

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Author's Note: Let me see if I can four done today! One down!


	73. Chapter 73

Disclaimer:Naruto isn't mine

Being a dad means watching her breasts become those of a movie star. Of course you can't touch them.

Naruto got plumper as the pregnancy went on, that was a no brainier, he didn't just get plump in the stomach, he got plump in other areas. As Naruto once wailed loudly on a Tuesday morning, he got moobs.

"What the fuck is happening to me." Naruto said as he stared in the mirror, shirtless. There his moobs were on full display. What did these things always seem to happen to him.

"The miracle of life." Sasuke said wrapping his arms around Naruto.

"I got moobs. Man boobs! Fat guys get these not me!"

"I think you look sexy." Sasuke nibbled on Naruto's ear. To prove his point, Sasuke made a move to grab Naruto's left moob.

Naruto promptly swatted him away. "I don't want you touching them. I feel gross as it is." Naruto walked away.

And in the quiet of the room, you could slowly hear Sasuke's heart break.


	74. Chapter 74

Disclaimer: Naruto isn't mine

Being a dad means not wanting to kill a good Saturday afternoon attending a baby shower-and then being consumed bu guilt after your wife breaks down in tears crying, "This is your baby too!"

Gaara spent his Saturday afternoons doing normal things. He watched some TV, went to the gym to work out, talked about very manly things like eyeliner and the like to Sasuke and the rest of his buddies in Konoha. Not attending a baby shower with the other people that Neji hung out around(including some of the husbands of his new-found friends.)

Gaara was trying to quietly sneak out of the mansion when Neji caught him. "Gaara, where are you going?"

_'Fuck!_' Gaara thought. He was never going to get out of this one. "I was just heading out to meet up with guys. They're all in town."

"I know but this your baby and you don't want to even spend time with it when its unborn, imagine how you'll be when its born!" Neji said, a few tears threating to spill.

Gaara always knew he would make a terrible spy.


	75. Chapter 75

Disclaimer:Naruto isn't mine

Being a dad means rubbing her back every night until the baby is born or your hands fall of, whichever comes first.

Shikamaru often wondered if Kiba was made out of toughness. He was smart enough to know people aren't made out of toughness, but he willing to bet all his nap-time that the Inuzukas were the closest thing out there.

Pregnancy changed in that in a very minor way. Kiba was still going to do all the things he did, unless he was tied down which happened frequently throughout the pregnancy, and didn't care if some stupid doctor said he couldn't.

Shikamaru liked Kiba's spunk and spitfire, after all it was what made him so attracted to Kiba in the first place, but he also liked it when Kiba slowed down and got off his high horse.

"Shika? Would you mind rubbing my back?" Kiba said one night as they were getting ready for bed.

"Sure." Shika began to slowly rub circles on Kiba's back. And he rubbed. And rubbed. And rubbed. He felt like he was going to spend the whole night rubbing Kiba's back while Kiba made dog-like content noises. Woofing was an turn-on on Shikamaru's book. Dear Kami, this is what happened when you spend an hour rubbing circles into your pregnant husband's back. How many hours had Shikamaru been rubbing anyway? Shikamaru looked at the clock.

Only five minutes had passed.


	76. Chapter 76

Disclaimer: Naruto isn't mine

Being a dad means telling her she looks better with thin hair.

Iruka didn't care much about his long hair, he wasn't Neji after all, who at times considered the well-maintenance of his hair more important than destiny. Iruka had long hair because he always had it and he got used to taking care of it.

As little as the effort that Iruka put into it, he did have beautiful thick hair that Sakura proclaimed jealously over. Kakashi loved running his fingers through it even if Iruka complained about the tangles and pain of brushing them out.

Imagine Kakashi walking in to find Iruka, _Iruka_, crying over how thin his hair was. "It's never been like this!"

Kakashi knelled down on the bathroom floor to comfort his husband. "Iruka, baby, your hair looks great either way. I love you for you, not because you have thick, gorgeous, brown hair. It will go back to normal at the end of this." Kakashi put a lock of Iruka's hair behind Iruka's ear.

"I miss my hair."


	77. Chapter 77

Disclaimer: Naruto is not mine

Being a dad means asking a clerk at every baby store to turn the TV to ESPN.

Sasuke laid his back against the wall. He was at the baby store waiting as Naruto shopped around. Baby stores, Sasuke thought, were made to keep the non-pregnant person bored out of their minds until they wandered off in some from of zombie state randomly throwing items into a cart.

Fuck, he was starting to think like Gaara now. And the stupid TV was on PBS Kids or whatever shit educational, programmed for five-year old channel was on. Sasuke wished that he was back home watching the Style channel.

Hmm, the Style channel. The TV couldn't just have one channel right? That means there's a good chance of the Style channel being available. There's hope in the world of baby stores after all. Sasuke sat and enjoyed the Style channel in peace.

He still could live without Naruto running over every two seconds asking if something "wasn't so adorable believe it!"

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Author's Note: Tonight will be double-update because I have a feeling I missed one.


	78. Chapter 78

Disclaimer:Naruto isn't mine

Being a dad means rubbing her belly with cocoa butter at night. (Depending on how nauseous she is, this may or may not lead anywhere.)

Neji had read in one of the baby books that got passed around that cocoa butter was soothing and helpful to the baby. He decided that his baby needed to be born into a stress-free world and asked Gaara to rub some newly-bought cocoa butter on his stomach.

Gaara(and Shukaku) were delighted to help. After all, Neji had a weakness for chocolate syrup all over him and shouldn't cocoa butter have the same or better effect? It was the world's sexiest science experiment.

Gaara had set the mood right. The lights were love and very, very softly you could here some sappy love/sex song playing in the background. Neji walked in and watched with a critical eye. "Don't even think about it. Just rub the cocoa butter and if you don't try anything too Kankuro like, I might reward you."

It took every ounce of dignity Gaara had left his body not to bounce with glee. Shukaku had to be the fucking weirdest demon to ever be sealed inside a person. "Don't worry about it." Neji laid down and Gaara began to spread the cocoa butter on his stomach.

"That feels really good." Neji said.

"Yeah."

"Yeah." Gaara leaned in closer to give Neji a kiss.

Neji put his hand right in front of Gaara's face, almost smashing his nose. "Don't even think about. I just hurled three night's worth of dinner."


	79. Chapter 79

Disclaimer:Naruto isn't mine

Being a dad means watching other men with their kids. And deciding which dads you want to imitate.

Shikamaru hated Kiba's dad. He had never met the man, but he hated him. Tsume wasn't a symbol of femininity but leaving because you're scared of a woman doesn't justify anything. He married Tsume and had kids with her. If he did all those things, he must have known Tsume was a very outgoing person that liked her emotions to be expressed. You don't leave your kids no matter what.

As much as Shikamaru complained about his father, he was glad to have him. Shikaku was whipped for Yoshino and had no intentions of leaving her. He may be a lazy Nara but he was in love with his mom.

Ino and Chouji's dads loved their wives and treated them with the utmost respect. Ino was a Daddy's girl and Chouji did something with his dad every week. Shikamaru played with shogi with his dad on a daily basis.

When Kiba announced he was pregnant, Shikamaru would do anything in his power to not end up like Mr. Ex-Inuzuka.


	80. Chapter 80

Disclaimer:Naruto is not mine

Being a dad means flying home on the red-eye so you can be at the ultrasound scan the next morning.

Gaara had a meeting with Naruto and a few other officials at Kohona. The meetings themselves he found a bit redundant but he enjoyed the time with Naruto and his gym buddies. The meeting was to be held over three days. There was just one teensy-weensy problem. Neji's ultrasound was on the third day. Gaara had figured out a plan that if he left at midnight he could make it to Neji's ultrasound.

So, Gaara bid his goodbyes to Naruto and his gym buddies and headed out to Suna as quickly as possible. It was a pain traveling by midnight but he wouldn't miss the ultrasound for the world. He wanted to know what the bra- baby looked like and Neji would probably skin him alive if he missed it.

"Gaara, you made it! Now, go Neji's already in the room." Temari said pushing Gaara inside.

Gaara's eyes had to the most bloodshot pair in existence, but seeing Neji's smile was worth it.

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Author's Note: My computer got a virus but it's fixed now so there will be five more updates tonight.

So, did anybody see the Harry Potter movie? I did and in my opinion there wasn't enough Draco.


	81. Chapter 81

Disclaimer:Naruto isn't mine

Being a dad means paying down all the debt you've piled up until now. It's easy enough to do since your wife doesn't feel like eating or leaving the house.

Iruka had managed to live a completely debt-free life thanks to his planning and organizational skills. Kakashi on other hand, wasn't drowning in debt, but had a little bit due to Icha Icha books, movies, and the like.

It was actually quite easy to get rid of debt. Kakashi wondered why he didn't do it sooner. Iruka never wanted to leave the house claiming he was to gross to be looked at and hated the thought of eating calorie-laden restaurant food.

Monetary speaking, it was the healthiest nine months of Kakashi's life.


	82. Chapter 82

Disclaimer:Naruto isn't mine

Being a dad means feeling overcome at the third month when your learn that your baby is four inches long and weighs one ounce, has arms, hands, fingers, feet, and toes; and can open and close her fists and mouth and suck her thumb. The circulatory and urinary systems are even working. She's alive!

Sasuke was quite excited at ultrasounds. Potentially even more excited than Naruto was. He had to control himself to not jump and bounce and squee like a little girl every time once came around. And when it came the third month which according to parenting books is the most exciting month, it took every ounce of Uchiha blood in him not to resemble a puppy on crack.

"Are you ready to see your daughter Mr. Uchiha?" Sasuken nodded silently. He felt like a five-year old in a candy shop.

The women poured the cold gel on Naruto's stomach(A reaction that got a hiss from Naruto) and began to excamine the baby. "She's about four inches and as you can see she's sucking her thumb."

Sasuke saw and felt himself struck with awe. There was his daughter. The first member of the Resurreceted Uchiha clan.

Where was a camera when you needed it?


	83. Chapter 83

Disclaimer:Naruto isn't mine

Being a dad means reading the sports section to your wife's stomach.

Shikamaru didn't read the sports section. That was Kiba's territory. Kiba who loved hearing all the bloody details of brainless brawn matches. Shikamaru preferred the medical section of the paper. He wasn't a medic-nin and he didn't want to be one, too many years of work, but he always enjoyed learning more about medicine.

He thought the babies might like it too. One of them had to be like him; Shikamaru couldn't last in a house with three troublesome Kibas running around. And their dogs as well? Shikamaru shivered just thinking about it.

As Kiba slept, Shikamaru took the nearest newspaper or medical magazine and began to inform his children that they will always have the option of being more Nara than Inuzuka.


	84. Chapter 84

Disclaimer:Naruto isn't mine

Being a dad means reassuring a panic-stricken mom at 3:00 a.m. that you have a plan for the family fiances and to go back to sleep.(It helps greatly here to actually have a plan.)

Gaara's family was wealthy, they were the Kazekage, and Neji's family was wealthy, they were Hyguas. All in all, money should have been the last thing on Neji's mind. And yet when Gaara was trying to master the act of sleeping, Neji ruined it all.

"Gaara, do we have a fiance plan for the baby?" It never failed to amaze Gaara that even when Neji woke up out of nowhere, Neji's hair was still perfect.

"Yes, we do. Now go back to sleep." Gaara very lightly tried pushing Neji back onto the bed.

"No! Are you sure we have a plan?"

"Yes, spreadsheets and everything."

"Oh," Neji allowed himself to go back under the covers and tucked himself. "Are you really sure? Because I think Destiny is up to something."

"Yes, I am sure." Gaara said laying back down in bed and closing his eyes to see if sleep would come. He could almost see it when-

"Are you really, really, really sure?"

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Author's Note: I messed up. The last one was suppose to be Neji and Gaaraand _this one_ is Kiba and Neji. But oh well, I guess we all make mistakes.


	85. Chapter 85

Disclaimer:Naruto isn't mine

Being a dad means TiVoing through any TV commercial with a baby knowing that failure to do so will result in ten minutes of tears.

Kakashi liked watching his shows and like any other intelligent human being he hated commercials. Like any other intelligent human being he used TiVo. Iruka hated TiVo with a burning passion. Iruka liked watching commercials, if someone put so much time making them, he could at least watch them. Pregnancy only made it worse. He know wanted to watch every single commercial that featured a baby.

"Kakashi, why did a baby appear for a second and then went back to Sex and the City? You didn't." Iruka said knowing fully well what Kakashi did.

"I'm sorry?" Kakashi said sheepishly.

"How could you!" Iruka's bottom lip began to quiver.

"Aw shit, don't cry?"

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Author's Note: This was suppose to be the last one of the six I did yesterday but I didn't have time to upload it. Today expect two more. The one I am doing for today and a bonus one since it is a holiday. Expect two a day during the holiday season!


	86. Chapter 86

Disclaimer: Naruto isn't mine

Being a dad means telling your wife she's going to be a great mom. Often.

Sasuke didn't have too many annoying habits. He wasn't one of those husbands that got fat and lost their hair or had grease stains on their wife beaters. Sasuke was slim, had over-moussed hair and only wear tight-fitting black leather. He was a good husband in that sense, his only annoying habit was he felt the need to reassure Naruto of his mothering skills.

"Naruto, you are going to be the greatest mom in the world." Sasuke said as Naruto entered the house. "Like the best mom ever. Our child is going to grow up bragging about how awesome his mom. He's-"

"Sasuke, shut up. Stop treating me like I'm a low self-esteem emo kid! I know I'm going to be a good mom! Believe it!"

"Yeah, I kinda forget about the believe it thing. I take back everything I said."


	87. Chapter 87

Disclaimer:Naruto isn't mine

Being a dad means coming home from work early just so you can push on her stomach and have your baby push back.

Gaara closed the door silently behind him. Neji had started taken beauty naps and waking him up from them was akin to pissing off the devil. Neji looked peaceful when he was asleep even more-so when you could see his mark.

The most peaceful part was how Neji's hand was carefully resting on his stomach, protecting the baby from the harsh world. Gaara lightly pushed down on Neji's stomach. The baby pushed back. Gaara pushed down again. The baby pushed back. And so on.

"Gaara, I am trying to sleep." Neji's voice could go from so pretty to so evil.


	88. Chapter 88

Disclaimer:Naruto isn't mine

Being a dad means discovering that all moms have a deep genetic need to whack of all their hair. When this happens, tell her she looks great.

Shikamaru was eating his brunch one day Sunday morning when Kiba showed up with a buzz cut. Kiba already had hair short enough in Shikamaru;s opinion and a buzz cut really didn't suit a pregnant man but neither did Kiba's old hair style. All pregnant men should really adopt either Neji or Iruka's hair styles.

"What do you think?" Kiba asked.

"You look great." Kami, pregnant women and their hair were so troublesome.


	89. Chapter 89

Disclaimer:Naruto isn't mine

Being a dad means saying, "Good morning"and "Good night" to your wife's stomach. Perfectly normal.

Iruka awoke before Kakashi and had tea on the table by the time Kakashi arrived at the kitchen in a half-dreaming state. "Good morning." Kakashi mumbled as he flopped down into a chair.

"Good morning." Iruka said to Kakashi placing a steaming cup of tea in front of him. Iruka lovingly placed eighteen or so packets of sugar in the tea, making sure that Kakashi would be awake for work. If Kakashi even showed up to work(or on time)

"Good morning," Kakashi said to Iruka. Kakashi grabbed Iruka by the waist, causing Iruka to meep, and lifted up Iruka's shirt to reveal a tiny bump. "Good morning to you too."

Kakashi came home as Iruka was dicing up kiwi for dessert. Dinner was almost done and the table had been set. "Good night." Kakashi said giving Iruka's cheek a kiss. Kakashi leaned down and blew a raspberry on the stomach. "Good night to you."

"Kakashi, that's getting kinda weird."


	90. Chapter 90

Disclaimer:Naruto isn't mine

Being a dad means trying to decide whether to calmly fill out the myriad of hospital and insurance forms now instead of watching _24_, or to wait and do so furiously right after your wife's water breaks all over the admissions room floor. It's not an easy call.

Sasuke was a big fan of _24_. He liked the action of it all and it didn't hurt that Kiefer Sutherland was hot. _24_ was his break time. Me time. Sasuke time. No paperwork, missions, or Naruto to interfere. For once, life was good.

"Sasuke! Here you go!" Naruto came in his Hokage robes flying as he dropped a packet of paper onto Sasuke's lap.

"What is this?"

"Papers that the hospital and insurance needs. I have a meeting so I can't fill them out. Have fun!" Naruto kissed Sasuke before going off.

Sasuke looked down at the packet. Oh yes, he was going to have fun. Tons of fun. He was going to OD from fun of filling out packets. Sasuke looked at the screen. It was such a good episode. Couldn't the packets wait one more day?

But if he waited then he would probably be doing in the admissions room floor after Naruto's water breaks. But if he did them now he would miss out on Jack Bauer.

Tough call.


	91. Chapter 91

Disclaimer:Naruto isn't mine

Being a dad means finding yourself nauseous, gaining weight, and feeling a bit moody. You have sympathetic pregnancy. Resist the urge to cut off all you hair.

Gaara stepped back on the scale. His eyes were playing tricks on him. There was no way that number could belong to him. When did he gain all those kilos? And that little piece of flab? This couldn't be the domestic weight gain of not having sex with everybody you meet thing Kankuro warned him about?

Gaara stepped off the scale and looked in the mirror. He looked disgusting. He had awoken that morning nauseous and ready to throw up any second. He had never felt so gross in his whole life. He bet this is what Neji felt like. Temari told him there was a term for this. Sympathy pregnancy. He had sympathy pregnancy.

He wondered how he would have looked like with a buzz cut.


	92. Chapter 92

Disclaimer:Naruto isn't mine

Being a dad means learning that your cologne that used to lead your wife to frisky behavior now causes her to barf.

Shikamaru wasn't one to wear colognes or nice smelling shampoo. He wore a cologne that Ino had gotten him for his 13th birthday and continued wearing it because it was nice, it made Ino happy to smell him wearing it, and someone always gave it to him as a gift and it would be troublesome to let it go to waste.

It didn't hurt that Kiba liked the smell of his cologne and it would often put him in a very good mood. A very, very, very, very, good mood.

"Shikaaaaa" Kiba whined snuggling his nose into Shikamaru's shoulder.

"What is it?"This was getting good.

"You smell disgusting." Kiba jumped over the couch to get the bathroom as quickly as possible.

Stupid Ino and her stupid birthday gifts.


	93. Chapter 93

Disclaimer:Naruto isn't mine

Being a dad means standing in the grocery store reading the nutritional label on baby food jars.

"I don't know how much sodium it has!" Kakashi said into the phone. Iruka had sent him out to the grocery store with the order to buy baby food. The grocery store(which obviously had some personal vendetta against Kakashi) decide to build a whole fucking wall filled with shelf upon shelf of baby food.

"Sodium is a very important thing to look out for! Check the label!" Iruka barked from the house phone. The last months of pregnancy were beginning to catch up with him.

"Fine." Kakashi said rolling his eyes. The stupid labels were annoyingly hard to read. The companies couldn't have afforded larger print?

"The sodium seems to be a decent amount."

"Good. Now check the iron levels."

"Seriously? Iruka I think are baby is going to be a healthy."

"Kakashi! Do as I say! Our baby needs to be the healthiest baby in the village!"

Kakashi gulped.

Now he knew why Iruka tried so hard not to get angry or pregnant, he could scare the Nine-Tail Demon away if he really wanted to.


	94. Chapter 94

Disclaimer:Naruto isn't mine

Being a dad means finding your wife -a fierce trial lawyer during the day-staying up all night cross-stitching a quilt for the nursery. This is called "nesting." Don't interfere

Sasuke woke up around one-thirty in the morning to a quiet rustling and humming. The noise seemed to be coming from the nursery. Sasuke shot up. What if someone was trying to hurt his baby before the baby had been born? Now that was just cruel.

"Naruto, do you hear that?" Sasuke said looking over to Naruto's side of the bed. The whole time he was sleeping it felt cold and strangely silent. Naruto would usually be cuddled up next to him and saying "bastard" quietly in his sleep.

The empty bed explained it all.

Sasuke gripped the bed sheets. The person was going to pay.

He marched over to the nursery and opened the door quietly to find Naruto. Naruto cross-stitching. Naruto cross-stitching a quilt. Wha?

Sasuke vaguely remembered Naruto talking to Hinata about how much he wanted to try cross-stitching. Apparently, Kushina had cross-stitched him a quilt. The quilt wasn't very good as Kushina wasn't a renowned cross-stitcher but it had been made with love and it made Naruto feel closer to his mother.

Naruto looked a cross of peaceful and angry. The quilt didn't look very good and the Uzumaki clan symbol was a bit crooked and it looked like the Uchiha fan wasn't going to far any better.

It was at least better than him cooking.


	95. Chapter 95

Disclaimer:Naruto isn't mine

Being a dad means discovering underwear twice the size of yours in the washing machine and not making a single comment.

Gaara got stuck with doing laundry on Friday. It was the maids' day off and everyone did their part to help, even if helping did more hurting. He had four white baskets labeled 'Gaara' , 'Neji', 'Temari', and 'Kankuro'. Sometimes there was a basket labeled 'Kankuro's Random Whores'

It was pretty easy to figure out who was who. Temari, were the female undergarments and the shirts too loose around the chest area, Kankuro's were all the hoodies and shirts with the weird circle, Neji and Gaara sometime had similar clothing but Neji was more elegant and done in a lilac scheme and one size smaller than Gaara's.

So when Gaara found a pair of lilac boxers in the machine that was even big for Kankuro, he put in Neji's basket without a single word.

Kankuro could suffer the wrath of Pregnant Neji for once.

YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG

Author's Note: This is really quick, somewhat irrelevant, and just to stop any comments that might have happened. And to give my opinion on the Naruto character designs.

I do not think Kankuro is fat, just muscular. The episode where we see him without his face paint and get the full helping of his sexiness, aside from being one of my favorites, give as a better idea of Kankuro's body shape, he's not fat, just stocky.


	96. Chapter 96

Disclaimer: Naruto isn't mine

Being a dad means getting the child-care question settled before the third month of pregnancy. Is the wife staying home? Can one of the grandmothers help with the child-care? What's the best child-care facility in your area?

"My mom is more than happy to watch the baby." Shikamaru said yawning. He and Kiba were at the kitchen table deciding what to do about the baby. Kiba was two months pregnant and to the sadness of Yoshino, not visibly showing any signs of having a baby.

"So is my mom and Hana." Shikamaru gulped. He loved his mother-in-law but Tsume was a little to rough on babies. Rumor had it that when they were still babies, the Inuzukas let their children sleep in baskets next to highly trained ANBU nin-dogs.

"Are you planning on staying at home?" Shikamaru already knew the answer to that one. Fuck no.

"Fuck no."

"We could leave the baby at day-care? Shino's wife's day-care is the best in all of the village. And she's a responsible adult." Shikamaru knew that Shino's wife scared Kiba a bit. No normal, mentally stable girl could really end up choosing Shino. Especially one that in Kiba's words "had a nice ass."

"Yeah but she's not OK." Kiba pointed to his temple. "Up here."

Shikamaru couldn't argue with that. Everyone in the village thought the same way. "Yeah but she also runs the best child-care facility ever."

"I can't believe I'm actually going to spend my kid to Shino's wife's day-care. Shoot me now."


	97. Chapter 97

Disclaimer:Naruto isn't mine

Being a dad means visiting child-care providers. Asking questions. Calling references. This is one of the single most important issues you need resolved.

Kakashi stared at Mrs. Shino Aburame who was seated across from them, staring with that gaze of her. Kakashi meant no disrespect to Shino, but his wife wasn't the easiest person to be around. Was it even a good idea to leave her with children?

"So, Aburame-san, how long has the center been opened?" If Iruka was at all phased by the cold stare of the matriarch of Aburame, then he didn't show it. It must have came from teaching her husband. If Shino hadn't been Iruka's student and neither was his wife, than Iruka would have probably shitted in his pants.

"Three years now." Her voice was emotionless. Did her mouth even move?

"Wonderful. Do you have all the licenses"

Mrs. Aburame nodded. What was her first name anyways? Did she even live in Konoha before marrying Shino? Kakashi was sure he would have remembered such a unique(creepy) girl. There was seriously something wrong with that girl.

"Yes, we try to get every license there is. As soon as there is a new requirement, we are all over it." There was slight movement of the mouth. "We have a list of references and licenses here." Aburame-san opened a file and handed a thin packet of paper to Iruka.

"I think we would love to have our child attend here."

OMG she smiled!


	98. Chapter 98

Disclaimer: Naruto isn't mine

Being a dad means spending the last couple months of pregnancy watching videos of complete strangers giving birth. (This would probably be an excellent time to fill out those hospital forms.)

Naruto had given Sasuke a stack of DVDS and videos of childbirth. Sasuke was reading one day and along came Naruto who dropped the movies off and continued on his way without saying a word.

Sasuke looked at them with distaste. Naruto didn't really expect him to watch the videos. Sasuke, was the one reading all the books and magazines. Naruto ate and played video games. And there was 24 to watch. For the heck, of it he stuck a video in.

Sasuke's face began to distort. That was not right! He didn't really come out of his mom's stomach like that did he? Thank God, Naruto was a man. Sasuke picked up a pen and the packet and shut off the TV.

This was much better.


	99. Chapter 99

Disclaimer:Naruto isn't mine

Being a dad means calling about nursery and private-school admission requirements. It's insane, but parents are enrolling their soon-to-be-born kids now.

Were the Hyuga family getting more stuck-up and snotty with age? Did Neji really hand him the phone number of the Suna Academy while Gaara was in the middle of doing paperwork? And then walk up away before Gaara could notice?

Enrolling the baby already? Dude, Gaara was lucky enough, someone remembered to enroll him. And know Neji wants to go ahead and sign the baby up for things like art class and vocal training. How did he know the baby even wants to do art or music? It could be the least creative person in the world.

Gaara stared at the paper. Did they even have to fill out forms when he went to the Academy? They must have changed the rules. Or did Neji want to enroll the kid in Konoha? Gaara checked the papers. No, all Suna. Good.

He still wasn't going to fill them out.


	100. Chapter 100

Disclaimer:Naruto isn't mine

Being a dad means screamed at because your wife hates being pregnant. Agree with her.

"I fucking hate being pregnant and I hate you because you got me pregnant. Why did I even have this baby? I could have gotten an abortion you know!" Kiba screamed pacing around the kitchen. Shikamaru stood at the entrance, letting Kiba rant out his feelings. "You know that right?"

Shikamaru nodded.

"I hate being pregnant! Why couldn't you be the pregnant one?"

Shikamaru wanted to say that it was because he topped, but he shrugged in order to avoid being beat up.

"I hate being pregnant!" Kiba shrieked looking like he was ready to pull out what remained of his hair.

"I agree."

YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-

Author's Note: Can you believe it? 100. To tell the truth I never thought I would see this number or this many reviews for a story I wrote. Thanks you guys for sticking through this with me. It means a lot and I don't think any other Naruto fanfic writers has such awesome reviewers like I do. You guys are the real reason for 100.


	101. Chapter 101

Disclaimer: Naruto isn't mine neither is the book these are based off of.

Being a dad means worrying if her body will ever return to normal. It will. Maybe not totally, but 99.9 percent. Okay, 97 percent. Whatever.

Kakashi liked Iruka's body. It wasn't Iruka's best feature but damn if it wasn't nice enough. Pregnancy ruined Iruka's body. Not that Kakashi wouldn't fuck Iruka, because he would, it's just he heard rumors of pregnancy leaving scars. Seeing scars would scare Kakashi away at first but it he would get used to it, Iruka's self esteem on the other hand would never recover.

According to sites and Tsunade, Iruka's body should return after the baby is born. Slowly. And not completely restored to its original semi-glory. Kakashi could live with that, after all it seemed to be common to have less of a sex drive once the baby arrived.

Now, that might be a problem.


	102. Chapter 102

Disclaimer:Naruto isn't mine

Being a dad means making a budget and listing diapers, baby food, clothes, high chair, doctor's visits, etc., before you get to the poker night fund.

Sasuke did have friends despite Naruto's disbelief and they didn't spend all their time in emo corners cutting themselves. They did manly things like poker and singing Gloria Gaynor songs. The baby did bring some more added on expenses and even if they weren't struggling for cash, Sasuke liked to make a budget.

Diapers: 30 %

Baby food : 12%

Clothes: 20%

High chair: 20 %

Doctor's visit: 17 %

Poker fund: 1%


	103. Chapter 103

Disclaimer:Naruto isn't mine

Being a dad means having scintillating dinner discussion about her hemorrhoid problems.

"Do we really need to talk about this?" Gaara asked hiding his face in his hands. Temari and Kankuro looked mortified at the topic Neji was talking about and bemused at Gaara's reaction.

"Yes! Do you know how many times fathers don't know what is going on during their spouse's pregnancy? Do you want to be one of those fathers?" Neji asked.

"Yes."

"Well too bad. If you didn't want to hear about my hemorrhoid problems then you shouldn't have impregnanted me."

"Just the word is disturbing." Gaara looked like he wanted to cry. "Can we talk about something else?"

"You wouldn't believe where my hemorrhoid started to act up today..."


	104. Chapter 104

Disclaimer:I don't own Naruto or the book. Actually, I own the book but not copyrights.

Being a dad means telling her she's beautiful even if she is the size of a barn. She needs to hear it.

"My jeans won't button and I just ate three boxes of cookies. Why the fuck are you looking at me like that?" Kiba demanded as Shikamaru drank his tea, leaning on the kitchen counter.

"Like what? Guessing what a pregnant man means is too troublesome. And I'm not looking at you in any way."

"Yes, you are." Kiba argued.

"No, I'm not. I'm looking at you the way I've been looking at you since I realized I liked men!"

"I'm fat! Once upon time when I was skinny and sexy I could understand! Now I'm just fat."

"Kiba, you're not fat and you're not sexy. You're beautiful."


	105. Chapter 105

Disclaimer:Naruto isn't mine

Being a dad means worrying about the health of your wife and your unborn child.

There were nights when Kakashi couldn't sleep. He would eventually pretend to be asleep and Iruka would wake up him up and he would complain and do what he always did. He didn't want Iruka to know there were times when Kakashi was scared.

Scared that the baby might cause complications to Iruka because men weren't made to carry babies. Scared that Iruka might cause complications for the baby because his body wasn't designed to have children. Scared of anything and everything that could go wrong.

There were enough complications for women having children. Being a man caused it to be double. Iruka did look so happy to be pregnant and everything was going smoothly so far.

What if something happened after the pregnancy? During labor or later on? What if the baby was born with a tiny hole in it's tiny heart? What if it had Down Syndrome or it couldn't breath correctly?

There were a million and a half things that could go wrong.


	106. Chapter 106

Disclaimer:Naruto isn't mine

Being a dad means wondering if this cell phone call means "Come get me!"

Naruto had been experiencing some minor contractions that often turned out to be false but they put everyone on the edge. Naruto was eight months pregnant and Tsunade had put out an alert saying that the baby could have come any moment.

Tsunade had said that any contractions no matter how minor now required Naruto to be brought to the hospital. She didn't want the risk of it being false or not, it was beyond close now to be taking any chances. Needles to say every time the phone rang, Sasuke expected the worst to happen.

Sasuke was at home going over the telephone bill when his cell phone rang. Naruto's name flashed on the screen. Sasuke picked it up right away. "Hello? Naruto are you OK? I'll be over in five minutes to bring you to the hospital! Or should you go now and I'll meet up with you half-way?" Sasuke took in a large gulp of air.

"Sasuke, I'm not having the baby. I just want to know if you've seen my extra set of keys."


	107. Chapter 107

Disclaimer:Naruto and the book this is based off isn't mine

Being a dad means hearing scratching noises coming from the other side of the bed at night- and learning that itching becomes even more of a problem later in pregnancy.

Gaara as he laid awake in bed reading, began to hear noises coming Neji's side of the bed. They sounded an awful lot like scratching noises but Neji made sure he had properly lathered on cream to prevent something as embarrassing as scratching.

Still, the noise was persistent. And annoying. Gaara leaned over to check, in case it really was Neji making those noises. It was. Neji looked like he wasn't even aware that Gaara was watching him, much less he was scratching his own arm.

It went on the secret scratching. At doctor visits, they were told that scratching was a problem in pregnancy and it got worse with the months but Neji scoffed at the idea of him scratching his skin. He used the best skin care products money could buy.

Some things, Gaara decided, were better left unsaid.


	108. Chapter 108

Disclaimer:Naruto isn't mine

Being a dad means taking your wife out as often as she feels like going out. Going out will soon be a memory.

"Can we eat out today? I don't feel like trying to cook." Kiba said as he stretched on the sofa.

"Sure." Shikamaru said flipping a page in his book. They were in the living room trying to enjoy the peace and quiet of the night. The nights were getting colder and longer. Shikamaru hated the winter. Shoveling was one of the biggest pains of the ass in the world.

Kiba looked up from the couch, alarmed. "Shika, are you alright? Did you just say you wanted to go out? What happened to my Shika? The Shika that would have been like "Going out is too troublesome. I would have to get ready and brush my hair and then we would have to decide on a place that we both agree on."?:

"Kiba, I have more than enough common sense than to argue with a pregnant person."

Shikamaru knew that it was because in around three months, Kiba would be claiming he was too fat to be seen by public and Shikamaru knew how troublesome that it would be to deal with.


	109. Chapter 109

Disclaimer:Naruto isn't mine

Being a dad means appreciating her fragile condition when she says she doesn't think ten blankets, seven sheets, two cribs, one layette, seven mobiles, two changing tables, baby furniture, push toys, pull toys, and two chests of clothes will be enough. Go baby shopping with her again.

Iruka had bought a lot of baby supplies.

Let us rephrase that, Iruka had bought nearly the entire_ fucking baby store_.

There was no way the baby would need ten blankets. What was the plan? Five for Anko's house and five for theirs? Seriously? And to buy ten blankets only in two different colors? What kind of gay guy was Iruka anyway? Neji would have bought them in _four_ different colors.

Seven sheets.

_Seven_ sheets. Kakashi was pretty sure at the most he had two growing up. He could try to understand ten blankets. After all, they had two cribs, but seven wasn't an even number. How were they suppose to divide that amongst them and Anko?

Two cribs.

Kakashi agreed with that one. They needed two cribs. Especially since Anko had paid for one of them.

One layette.

Potentially the only reasonable thing on the list.

Seven mobiles.

Once again, an odd number. What good was seven mobiles when you had two cribs. Kakashi suspected that Iruka was going to send it to Anko in case she accidentally broke one.

Two changing tables.

Another one that Kakashi agreed with. One for them and one for Anko.

Baby furniture.

OK, they did need that. After all, how was the baby suppose to do anything or relax around the house while Kakashi read to him?

Push toys.

For the baby, babies needed toys.

Pull toys.

See above(did the baby really need two kind of toys?)

Two chests of clothes.

Kakashi used to think this one was reasonable. One chest for them and one chest for Anko. Until Iruka said that both were for them and Anko was buying clothes for the baby on her own. This left Kakashi a bit concern for his child(being dressed up as dangos couldn't be safe for the self-esteem) but there was no a baby needed that much clothing when it grows up so fast anyway.

"Kakashi, do you think we have enough things? The baby store is still opened." Iruka said as he peered inside the nursery.

"I think we should go visit the baby store." Kakashi gently taking Iruka's arm.

It was an argument he was bound to lose anyway.


	110. Chapter 110

Disclaimer: Naruto isn't mine

Being a dad means trying not to freak out when your baby's due date comes and goes and there's no baby. Only 5 percent actually arrive on time.

The baby was due two days ago. Two days ago. That equals 48 hours. Some babies are born within 48 hours. 48 hours from the day Naruto was suppose to be in labor, Naruto is still pregnant. How could this be when the baby was due 48 hours ago. 48 hours ago, give or take, Sasuke was suppose to be holding his child in is his arms. Not watching Naruto on the sofa eating ramen.

Of course, Naruto saw no point of being worried or stressed. He just ate his ramen without a care in the world. So what if the baby was two days late? Things like that were bound to happen. Nothing you can do but wait.

Sasuke couldn't let Naruto see him freak out. It would be bad. Naruto would start freaking out because Sasuke was freaking out and that couldn't be good for the baby. Although, stress could help the baby arrive. The best way to approach the problem was to think with a clear and cool head and attitude.

"Naruto, do you have any idea why the baby is born yet? Your due date was two days ago." Sasuke asked in an attempt to sound casual.

Naruto took a particularly loud slurp of his noodles. "Oh yeah, only 5 percent of babies are born on time."

"Oh," Sasuke said.

Wait.

Did Naruto know something he didn't?


	111. Chapter 111

Disclaimer:Naruto isn't mine

Being a dad means pricing out a Volvo or an SUV because side-impact safety protection suddenly matters to you.

Gaara liked sports car. It was his dirty little secret, no one pegged him as a Ferrari person but he loved them. Just because he was gay didn't mean he couldn't enjoy Kankuro's car and women magazines.

The pregnancy made him realize as nice as a Ferrari might be, it wasn't the best choice to carry a baby around. Ferrari as nice as they were, didn't have the side-impact protection. It was all too easy for another car to wreck it on the road. A Volvo or (And it killed Gaara to say this) SUV were better and more practical choices for driving the baby around.

A Volvo wasn't as bad as an SUV. Volvo could be stylish, once you got over how suburban they were, but an SUV will always make you look like a soccer parent. Always. Gaara didn't want to look like a soccer parent. What would the citizens of Suna think if they saw their Kazekage in a minivan? He would lose his respect!

The only thing left was to convince Neji to get a Volvo or wait until Ferrari makes a line of side safety cars.


	112. Chapter 112

Disclaimer:Naruto isn't mine

Being a dad means trying to decide between a Bugaboo and a 42" plasma TV. Your wife, of course, has already decided.

"Kiba, you know which one we are getting right?" Shikamaru asked Kiba as they stood in front of the department store. The department store in Konoha can proudly claim it really didnt' stock everything you may need.

"Of course," Kiba said opening the door of the store. "We're getting the TV."

Shikamaru ignored the feeling of hitting his head on the door and walked into the store follwing Kiba. "Kiba, I told you before we left. We're getting the Bugaboo." Shikamaru said once he had caught up with Kiba. Kiba was heading past the shoe aisle and onto the escalators.

"But the TV is a much better investment." Kiba whined as they went up the escalators. The electronics and the baby supplies were on the second floor.

Shikamaru looked impressed at Kiba's vocabulary. "We're buying the Bugaboo. End of story."

"Shika! You're so unfair!"

YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG0-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-

Author's Note: Happy New Year!


	113. Chapter 113

Disclaimer: Naruto isn't mine nor is the book.

Being a dad means not commenting when it feels like a whale just got into bed with you.

Iruka had been putting on pounds with the pregnancy and all. It was a bit shocking to see, Iruka had to maintain a body weight suitable for being a ninja and pregnancy was a time for him to relax and let loose. Kakashi discovered that Iruka would be overweight if he wasn't a ninja.

Iruka had a semi-hidden sweet tooth. Kakashi had figured that out when he visited Iruka's apartment for the first time. Iruka had cookies, cupcakes, pastries, and Iruka's personal favorite doughnuts. Dear Kami, there were doughnuts in every cupboard, table, counter, and fridge of the apartment. Kakashi even had a nightmare that Iruka might leave him one day for the owner of a doughnut factory.

Iruka also had a penchant for late-night snacks. He ate roughly a box of doughnuts before going to bed every night and they were starting to catch up on him. Once he settled into bed Kakashi felt the bed sink _hard_.

No comment.


	114. Chapter 114

Disclaimer: Naruto is not mine

Being a dad means planning what to do when your wife goes into labor. What will happen if you're out of town? Or she's in a meeting? Don't wait till contractions are coming every three minutes to make these decisions.

Tsunade had made sure that Naruto and Sasuke had a plan. Not a last minute plan like the ones Naruto was famous for. A real, decent, thought-ahead-of-time plan. A plan that would keep them calm when Naruto went into labor.

Sasuke was still being sent out of town for a few missions. In the case of Sasuke being sent on a mission, Naruto was to sent to Tsunade's house to be watched over in case of the baby being born while Sasuke was away. Tsunade's house was much closer to the hospital and Naruto would be there in no time. After Naruto had been checked in, Tsunade would send a message out to Sasuke alerting him and depending on how the mission is going, Sasuke would either stay or leave the mission.

If it happened during a meeting then Naruto would cancel the meeting immediately. Get Sasuke before the contractions started coming in closer and they would leave for the hospital. Sasuke would meet up with Naruto at the hospital.

Naruto had to admit he was pretty impressed with the plan he came up with.

"You came up with?" Tsunade said standing behind Naruto with a menacing look on her face.

"I mean you and Sasuke came up with." 7


	115. Chapter 115

Disclaimer:Hetalia isn't mine

Being a dad means making plans in case of a C-section. It happens 20 percent of the time. (Will you, for instance, go with your wife to recovery or spend an hour alone with your baby? You need a plan.)

"We all know that I'll be having a C-section due to biological reasons." Neji said making a note of it on his clipboard and rolling his eyes.

Gaara nodded. They were having a "meeting". If you defined meeting as hanging around in your kitchen at eleven-thirty at night a meeting.

"And what will you be doing? Are you going to stay with me or are you going to leave?"

"I don't know." Gaara shrugged. Did they have to do this now? George Lopez was probably on.

"Are you going with me to recovery or are you going to spend an hour with our baby?"

"I don't know."

"Do you know anything?" Neji asked exasperated. Sometimes he missed the emotionless, creepy Gaara he had met at thirteen.

"I don't know."


	116. Chapter 116

Disclaimer:Naruto isn't mine

Being a dad means making sure you don't have to stop for gas during a midnight run to the hospital.

For some strange, unknown reason that Shikamaru would probably have to end up killing the scheduling nurses at Kohona hospital, Kiba's appointment was scheduled at eleven-fifteen at night. Excuse me? Shikamaru was asleep by eleven. There was no way he was going to any appointment at eleven-fifteen PM.

Kiba didn't fall asleep until two in the morning was more than happy to have something to do at night. Hana would have killed him if he missed an appointment and he was going with or without Shikamaru.

Shikamaru, of course, followed Kiba. He wasn't going to let his seven and a half month pregnant husband drive to the hospital all by himself. Tsume and his own mother would beat the crap out of him.

They were driving to the hospital, running late, as Shikamaru tried his best not to fall asleep at the wheel and Kiba fiddled the radio. A blinking light awoke Shikamaru completely.

"Kiba, we need to stop for gas."


	117. Chapter 117

Disclaimer:Naruto isn't mine

Being a dad means panicking at the first sign of labor only to learn it's false, feeling a bit worried at the second sign of labor only to learn it, too, is false, and then being on the golf course when your wife calls because she's in labor for the third time and wondering if you should answer the phone.

Iruka went through plenty of false labors. Tsunade said it was common for more people to go through false labors more often than others. There was nothing to be too worried about.

Tell that too Kakashi.

Once, Iruka went into false labor and Kakashi had roughly eighty panic attacks once right after the other taking Iruka to the hospital only to find out it was false. Kakashi held back on punching the nurse(she did have a nice rack).

The second time Kakashi didn't have quite so many panic attacks but he still freaked out. The first sign of labor was usually false but the second time had to be the real thing, right? Once again they were off to the hospital only to find out that it too was false and Kakashi once again resisted punching the same nurse that attended them before.

Kakashi was in his favorite bookshop leafing through the por-explict reading materials when he got a call from Iruka.

Was it worth it this time?


	118. Chapter 118

Disclaimer: Naruto isn't mine

Being a dad means accepting the fact that your wife will probably go into labor late at night at least three time. This is just a preview of what children do to their parents' sleep.

Sasuke had learned that anytime Naruto went into labor at night. It was false. It was false because the baby in Naruto's stomach was a bitch/bastard. Sasuke only felt a tiny bit guilt saying that. Most of the guilt would come after the baby was born.

First Naruto would go into labor somewhere around elven. He would tell Sasuke to wake up and take him to the hospital. Fifteen minutes later he would announce that it was false and they could go back to bed.

Then around midnight the event would repeat itself going on until one-twenty eight when Naruto finally declared that the labor was false, that Sasuke could rest easy.

Until Naruto started going into false labor, _four_ times a night.


	119. Chapter 119

Disclaimer:Naruto isn't mine

Being a dad means wondering if you should panic over the labor contractions now or if you can just wait until the end of _24_ and then race to the hospital.

Neji went into labor right in the middle of _Queer as Folk_. It was potentially the worst time in the world to go to labor, right in the the re-run of Gaara's favorite episode! Gaara could do one of two things. Be a good husband or be a good gay guy. Tough call.

_24_ was also on but Gaara didn't harbor a crush on Jack Bauer like Sasuke did. Everyone knew that Brian was where it was at. And Neji wasn't in labor per say, he was having _labor contractions_. Totally different from the actual labor right? No. It had to be the same damn thing.

At least Gaara owned the complete series.


	120. Chapter 120

Disclaimer:Naruto isn't mine

Being a dad means asking your wife if she'd like to listen to rock music or a sports station on the way to the hospital.

Shikamaru had tried to be a helpful husband. He was driving out at midnight to go to hospital so that Kiba could make his appointment. Most late night radio stations played a crappy mix of techno, house, and pop music to combine into what they though was good music. Or they figured you must have been too tired/drunk to care about what you're listening to. The only stations that didn't do this were the rock and sports.

"Do you want Van Halen or the Patriots?" Shikamaru asked.

"Neither, turn the radio off I want to sleep."

"Van Halen." Shikamaru turning the knob to the rock station only to hear the slam of guitar riffs and very provocative lyrics. Kiba gave him a death stare.

"Or the Patriots sounds good."


	121. Chapter 121

Disclaimer: Naruto isn't mine

Being a dad means trying to time contractions while driving to the hospital with her screaming, "Drive faster" in your ear.

Tsunade had gifted Kakashi a stopwatch to use to time Iruka's contractions. Iruka had made Kakashi wear the stopwatch around his neck at all times to be fully prepared for when the baby came. Now with the baby coming, Iruka was more than ready to rip the stopwatch from Kakashi's neck.

"Can't you drive any faster?" Iruka yelled.

"We're already going above eighty!" Kakashi fumbled around with the stopwatch looking for the clicker.

"Can't we just go all the way?"

Kakashi had a joke about how they were only in this situation because they went all the way on the tip of his tongue but he didn't say it out loud.

"I think we're making good time." Kakashi said looking at the stopwatch.

"Drive fucking faster."


	122. Chapter 122

Disclaimer: Naruto isn't mine

Being a dad means realizing your usefulness in the labor room rivals that of a lampshade. But you can be supportive.

You don't really think about a lampshade being useful. Because it really isn't useful. It only serves to make your purpose easier but you can get by just fine without using it. That is what Sasuke felt like in the labor room. A lampshade.

A lampshade couldn't help Naruto calm down. Whisper sweet nothings into his ear as your bones slowly grind to dust. Nope. A lampshade couldn't do any of that.

That didn't stop Naruto from throwing the lampshade and lamp at him.


	123. Chapter 123

Disclaimer:Naruto isn't mine

Being a dad means learning your baby is coming in an hour and deciding maybe you ought to thumb through a few of those child-care books. Maybe fill out some forms.

Gaara sat in the waiting room as Neji was in his room getting ready for labor. Neji had requested that Gaara only come in when the baby was ready to be born. Gaara figured it was some Hyuga cult thing.

The waiting room gave Gaara time to reflect on upcoming parenthood. He hadn't read a single book Neji had bought him, even though they were neatly kept inside the man purse Neji had bought him. He was pretty sure there were still forms that needed to be filled out.

Other than that he thought he was all set.


	124. Chapter 124

Disclaimer: Naruto isn't mine neither is the book.

Being a dad means staying calm while you're in the delivery room. If you have to throw up, go outside

Shikamaru was a calm guy. He didn't fight or argue. Those were troublesome things and required a good deal of energy. He was the perfect guy to have in the delivery room.

"Seriously Shika! Show some god damn emotion! I'm having your babies!" Kiba yelled. Shikamaru was the perfect guy to have in the delivery room. Unless the person giving birth was the most hot-blooded, emotional person on the planet and enjoyed having their partners be a part of the experience.

"Being calm is an important part!" Shikamaru sighed and left the delivery room.

Kiba called after him. "By showing emotions I meant telling me to breathe and shit not throw up!"


	125. Chapter 125

Disclaimer: Naruto isn't mine neither is the book by Harry H. Harrison

Being a dad means giving up the fantasy that you will be able to fix your wife's labor pains. Only the delivery of the baby can do that.

Kakashi hated seeing Iruka in pain. Pain didn't look good on Iruka's face. Iruka's face was to use to smiles and laughter, Iruka was only a chunin and never had to see as many things as a Jonin had. That was why Kakashi was detesting labor.

Iruka in pain sounded like an awful thing to see and it was even worse that what Kakashi had expected it to be. Iruka was so helpless and Kakashi wanted nothing more to stop the pain.

Plus, the quicker Iruka's pain was relieved the sooner Kakashi could feel his hand.


	126. Chapter 126

Diclaimer: Naruto nor the book where I get these from is my copyright

Being a dad means sitting in the labor room in the dark and listening to Pavarotti.

Pavarotti was Sasuke''s suggestion. He had heard that classical music was good during labor. Naruto didn't want it. He found classical music to be boring and often put him to sleep. To prove his point Naruto was fast asleep still hooked up to the machine in his labor room.

Naruto's water hadn't broken completely yet and the doctors decided it would be best if he took a nap first before they moved on. Sasuke and had turned the lights off and played Pavarotti. The baby would enjoy it even if Naruto couldn't.

And for once Sasuke could enjoy Pavarotti in peace.


	127. Chapter 127

Disclaimer: I own almost nothing of this

Being a dad means sneaking a peek at your Blackberry to see if you have any important e-mails. And, okay, to check the sports updates.

Gaara had stayed faithfully besides Neji for two hours now. His right hand was in a world of pain but that was perfectly fine. Gaara was ambidextrous. It was just that it was Fashion Week. Neji loved Fashion Week. Gaara thought only fair that he would use his phone to see if he had any important messages. And to look up the Fashion Week report. For Paris and New York.

All for Neji.


	128. Chapter 128

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or the book 1001 Things It Means to be a Dad

Being a dad means asking questions of the doctors and nurses all the time. Questions like "Do you know what you're doing?"

Shikamaru was highly doubtful of the doctors and nurses handling Kiba's case. Yes, he and Sakura did go back but she was still young and inexperienced. The same went for all the doctors and nurses handling Kiba. They looked to be around Shikamaru's age.

Too young damn young to be working at the maternity ward at the hospital.

"Are you sure you know what you're doing?" Shikamaru asked a doctor. "Because it would be a pain in the ass for something to go wrong."

"Nice to know you care!" Kiba shouted from his spot on the bed.


	129. Chapter 129

Disclaimer:Naruto isn't mine

Being a dad means feeling guilty because you forgot the aroma therapy oils that she says are the only thing that will help reduce her pain.

Iruka was on an aroma therapy kick during the last months of his pregnancy. He thought they were nice spelling and had a very calming effect. Kakashi thought they overpowered the house and made his eyes water.

Even after Kami knows how many hours worth of fighting, Kakashi agreed to bring the aroma therapy oils into the delivery room when it was time. As Iruka pointed out, it was him, Iruka, and not Kakashi that was the one who was going to be in pain. The least Kakashi was do, was to bring something as simple as aroma therapy oils.

But he hadn't. They were right next to the baby bag. How could he have missed them. There were five of them. Right in easy reach and he forgot them. And the winner of this year's Worst Husband Award goes to... Kakashi Hatake! According to Anko at least.

In the end, Anko managed to bust into the delivery room carrying five aroma therapy oils.


	130. Chapter 130

Disclaimer: Naruto isn't mine

Being a dad means listening to a woman —who has vowed for nine months that she wants natural childbirth - scream for pain relief after ten minutes of hard labor. It's okay. Her doctors won't be surprised.

As soon as Naruto found out that he was pregnant, he repeated one simple mantra. Don't give into medication. He didn't want the baby to come out messed up or demented or some drugged up newborn. He wanted the baby to come out with a clear head.

That lasted for ten minutes, ten measly minutes until Naruto began yelling for drugs. Sasuke was embarrassed to death. This wasn't Uchiha behavior. This was very much Uzumaki behavior. The doctors on the other hand didn't even bat an eyelash to Naruto's behavior. They rest assured Sasuke that this was normal behavior and they were more than used to it.

Still, it wasn't what Uchihas behaved like!


	131. Chapter 131

Disclaimer: I own barely any of this

Being a dad means confusing your wife's childbirth pain with her being in medical distress. She's miserable. But it's not Code Blue

Neji's labor was painful. Yes, it did hurt like a mother and yes, in the end it was more than worth it but Gaara liked to think of it as the end of the world for Neji. Gaara thought Neji was dying from an unknown pregnancy-related cause. In actuality, Neji's labor pains were pretty much average. Gaara hadn't known that, a great deal of time after the labor pains were over. In fact he didn't know it until the birth of Seiko.

"Neji, I would like to say I'm sorry for putting you through this again." It was so typical of him. He never learned his lessons. Years and years of no emotion other than anger and bitterness caused him to not have a clue about saving his loved ones from indescribable pain.

"Put me through what?" Neji shrieked. For all his cool composure during labor Neji turned into one of those hysterical girls that couldn't stop screaming and shrieking.

"This! You having go through with this. I'm happy that soon we're going to have a daughter but you're suffering!"

"Through what?" Along with intense pains, Neji was pretty confused.

"Labor!"

"I'm not suffering! They're giving me an epidural in like ten minutes."


	132. Chapter 132

Disclaimer: I don't own much, probably none.

Being a dad means holding your wife's hand for five hours because she asks you to. Even if your hand turns white and loses all feeling.

Kiba had a lot more upper arm strength than he gave himself credit for. The Inuzuka clan was famous for their ninjustus but they could pack a punch when they really wanted to. Like labor. Holy shit, Kiba was hiding some serious biceps underneath all those fur jackets.

Shikamaru decided to be a good husband, mainly because he feared Tsume had sensory super-powers when it came to her children, and let Kiba hold his hand. Wasn't it the kind of things that brings forth the image of childbirth? It was a very noble thing to do. Even if your hand did turn a shade of pale that made Sai's skin tone seem healthy and you were pretty sure your nerves had shut down.

It was the most troublesome part of childbirth for the father.


	133. Chapter 133

Disclaimer:Naruto isn't mine

Being a dad means reassuring her often that all is well.

Childbirth sent Iruka's worriness into overdrive. Every five minutes, there would need to be a reminder that the babies were OK and everything was going smoothly. Sometimes every four minutes and fifty-eight seconds. Kakashi didn't want to admit it but he was worried too. Even Anko was worried as she paced the floor outside of the delivery room.

Kakashi did a better job of hiding it. He really did. Wearing his mask to the delivery room and covering it up with the mask the hospital gave to you was genius! Anko was better though. She yelled and swore a lot and kicked the vending machine. Iruka didn't have to worry about hiding anything. He was the one that was having his stomach cut open.

machine.

He shouldn't have been worrying in the first place. C-sections went fine, even the ones for male pregnancy. Kakashi would always love Iruka even if he did have a surgery scar. The divider insured that Iruka wouldn't have to see any blood and guts.

"This is going great. I probably even have enough time to read the last chapter of Icha Icha." Kakashi reached into his jacket pocket. He froze when he noticed Iruka's glare.

"I didn't mean it babe."


	134. Chapter 134

Disclaimer:Naruto isn't mine

Being a dad means gently telling your wife to push while she's shrieking for you to shut the hell up. True bonding.

Little known fact about Naruto: As brave and strong the Hokage was, Naruto had an intense fear of his stomach being cut open or cut off. You could cut off his arm, neck, head, legs but nothing would make him suffer more nightmares than his stomach. Sasuke wanted to know if it was possible to have your stomach cut off. That is why, Naruto begged and pleaded, and got into serious debates(all with himself) about whether he should the deliver the baby in his Sexy No Justu form. The baby would still be his, wouldn't it? Or would it be the infamous Naruko's.

Sasuke offered his advice, that he had gotten_ Naruto_ pregnant and not _Naruko_. It would only make sense that Naruto was the one who delivered the baby, even if Naruto was scared to death at the prospect of being cut open. In the end, Naruto did what was best.

He asked to be thoroughly put under anesthesia and knocked out before heading for the C-section.


	135. Chapter 135

Disclaimer:Naruto isn't mine

Being a dad means being asked to cut the umbilical cord.

Gaara surprised everyone during the birth. He didn't faint. He thought about it, but in the end he stuck up for the whole ride. Kankuro had bet that Gaara would have passed out before they even got to the hospital and would be like that even after the umbilical cord was cut. Kankuro lost a good deal of money during the birth of his nephew.

And Gaara could safely attest that he never felt as proud as when the doctor asked him to cut the umbilical cord.


	136. Chapter 136

Disclaimer: Naruto isn't mine

Being a dad means sneaking a camera phone into the delivery room without your wife knowing it.

Shikamaru didn't consider himself to be a cruel man. He wasn't particularly mean or spiteful. He treated people with courtesy and respect and only occasional annoyance if they interrupted him while sleeping. He never hurt a woman and wouldn't dream of hurting someone pregnant. Female or male. He was the perfect person to spend pregnancy with. So he respected Kiba's wish when Kiba asked/demanded not to take a picture anytime during the labor and until the baby had been born.

Kiba doubled-checked to make sure there was no camera or cell phone in the baby bag. He doubled-checked everyone that was going to the hospital to make sure they had nothing that could be used against him. Apparently, there was a weird Inuzuka ritual about the birthing process. But not taking a picture would be troublesome when Kiba or another member of the Inuzuka family would come around asking to see a picture.

Sneaking one in would be a lot less troublesome.


	137. Chapter 137

Disclaimer: Naruto isn't mine

Being a dad means taking a picture that causes her to scream every time she sees it.

It was a harmless joke. Iruka didn't want to see what he looked like during labor and the C-section. He asked for no pictures and no cameras. Kakashi vowed to keep up with that promise. But the temptation! Damn it the temptation! The wonderful, sweet, evil temptation of just taking one harmless photo of what Iruka looked like during the pregnancy! That was all. That was it. And it wasn't like Anko wasn't going to take one anyway. Kakashi was just helping to speed up the progress.

That is the extremely good reason of why Kakashi brought in a camera to the delivery room. It was the best excuse he ever came up with. It deserved to go into The Excuse Hall of Fame. And childbirth was a miracle of life, it would make perfect sense for him to want to capture a moment of it. All in all, a very smart decision made by Kakashi.

And the look on Iruka's face when he saw the picture of him trying to see over the screen to get a look at the baby, was priceless.


	138. Chapter 138

Disclaimer: Naruto isn't mine

Being a dad means not being able to put your newborn baby down.

There are few moments in life that can be described as perfect. There are few things in life that can be described as perfect. Even things we may claim are perfect, really aren't. They are our subconscious way of tricking us into thinking we have experienced a perfect moment or see a perfect item. When we do have a perfect moment or see a perfect object our brain becomes overwhelmed with the idea of perfection and how one simple object/thing can be the very essence of it.

One thing that Sasuke could guarantee was perfect. The birth of his first born daughter. His first child. The first member of the newly revived Uchiha clan. The best thing that had ever happened to him. She was perfect. She was a symbol that the Uchihas were once again a name to be reckoned with.

She was truly perfect.


	139. Chapter 139

Disclaimer: Naruto isn't mine

Being a dad means counting fingers and toes after delivery. Somebody has to.

It was a silly notion. Embarrassing some might say. Any extra fingers or toes would have been seen as soon as Zen(Gaara would always call him that even if the birth certificate said his name was Tomo.) was born. Counting them was extremely unnecessary and a waste of time.

Gaara counted, _1,2,3,4,5_. The right hand was done and on to the left foot. Zen's feet were tiny. Tinier than Gaara thought was possible. They were smaller than the feet on one of Temari's old dolls. Feet weren't meant to be that tiny.

No matter how tiny they were, both the right and left had five toes each. Ten cute, tiny, white toes. And ten cute, tiny, white fingers. Five on the left, five on the right. Absolutely perfect. But what else was expected from someone with Hyuga blood, as Neji liked to point out.

It was a tough job but somebody needed to do it.


	140. Chapter 140

Disclaimer: Naruto isn't mine

Being a dad means posting five hundred photos of the birth, the mother, the baby, and the happy family on Flickr.

Shikamaru wasn't a photographer. It took too much work and he didn't particularly enjoy having his picture taken. He wouldn't run away from a camera but given the choice, he wouldn't be in front of one. It turns out that a few members of the Inuzuka clan loved taking pictures. It helped feed their souls.

Shikamaru had no choice but to upload them. He knew his way around a computer better than mostly anybody. It was the many pains of being a genius. He couldn't say no to his in-laws, his mother had taught him better than that. His father had warned him better than that. So, when various members of the Inuzuka clan showed up with flash drives and cameras, he said yes and that it would be no problem.

Five hundred photos. Five hundred photos in total. It would be worse if it was by person, but even _five hundred total_ was an immense amount, there was no way he could get done with it all in one night. If he didn't get done with it in one night, the Inuzukas wouldn't be happy. An unhappy Inuzuka is not something you want.

He couldn't remember having these pictures taken. Why was there so many of him, Kiba and the twins? Flickr wouldn't let him put so many graphic birth pictures on their site?

Just remember: Do it for Kiba.

YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG

Author's Note: We have now left pregnancy and moved onto the baby stage! Expect quicker updates now that school is ending and I am only left to battle finals before summer appears.


	141. Chapter 141

Disclaimer: Naruto isn't mine

Being a dad means filling your wife's room with flowers. Not filling a vase. Filling her room.

Kakashi was never the type to buy flowers. Iruka spent many a birthday and Valentine's day without a flower. A rose was given here or there but it was always only a rose and never something else. There were moments in which Iruka thought it would be better to flat out tell Kakashi that his favorite flower was a lily of the valley.

Now imagine to his surprise that his recovery room was filled, filled, filled to very last corners with lily of the valleys. Iruka was certain he had never told anyone that his favorite flower was lily of the valley. He might have mentioned it in passing but only once and never on the occasion that someone would remember it.

Iruka's door had open and Kakashi stepped in carrying a bouquet of lily of the valleys. He smiled when he saw Iruka awake. "Oh you're awake! I didn't know how long your nap was going to last so I thought I take a walk. I know I said I would be by your side so you could wake up and look at me but this cat was stuck in a tree."

Iruka nodded as Kakashi somehow managed to find a space that was clear enough to set the flowers on. Iruka watched as he was able to somehow avoid stepping on a flower even when the whole entire ground seemed to be covered with them.

"What's the deal with all the flowers?" Iruka asked.

"There for you! You just had a major surgical procedure! You need to relax and I know how much you love lily of the valleys!" A smile formed behind Kakashi's mask. "I still can't believe that I'm a daddy!"

Iruka wondered if the lily of the valleys were truly lily of the valleys, Kakashi hadn't been this happy since Iruka agreed on their honeymoon to act scenes from Icha Icha.

YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG—YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-

Author's Note: Hey guys! Sorry about the long wait. I didn't think it would be this long. Summer should bring more updates not less :p.

Also check out my Harry Potter stories Confessions of a Slytherin Girl and Confessions of a Hufflepuff Girl.


	142. Chapter 142

Disclaimer: Naruto isn't mine

Being a dad means realizing that more than a baby has been born. So has a father.

A lot of people assumed that when Sasuke got around to rebuilding his clan that he would just leave the children in the care of whatever luc-poor girl that Sasuke got married to. Sasuke would still be around of course, but he wouldn't go out of his way to spend time with his children unless it was to help them train. Sasuke wouldn't do that. He also needed to check if his children had the Sharigan.

Truth be told, Sasuke didn't want that rumor to be true. He wanted an active role in his children' life. He wanted to be a father not a father figure. He had no idea how that silly idea happened to come about.

That little fact never truly hit him until Naruto went into labor. Sasuke sat outside in the waiting room staring at the walls, the clocks, the newspaper, the front desk, everything, with a voice in the back of his mind telling him that his last life goal was being accomplished.

One the doctor said the c-section was complete and Sasuke could go see Naruto and the baby, Sasuke had to mentally prepare himself. He wasn't Sasuke Uchiha- Konoha resident, nor Sasuke Uchiha – Uchiha Clan Avenger, he wasn't even Sasuke Uchiha- husband to Naruto Uzumaki-Uchiha.

He was Sasuke Uchiha – father.


	143. Chapter 143

Disclaimer: Naruto isn't mine

Being a dad means taking your newborn into the hospital chapel and offering your baby to God.

Gaara wasn't sure what he was doing. In fact, ever since Neji got pregnant, the amount of times Gaara knew what he was doing had been significantly reduced. Gaara wondered if he ever was going to know what he was doing again.

Why was there a chapel in a hospital? Was it always there? Gaara couldn't remember the last time he had been in a house of worship. Had he even been in a house of worship? Were there even houses of worship in Suna?

A parenting book had told him to offer the baby to God. It was a book that the Mormons dropped off at his house(Since when were there Mormons in Suna?) and he had read it. The book was dropped off rather late in Neji's pregnancy, roughly a week before today. Gaara had read it figuring it was needed.

Gaara walked into the chapel and held the baby up to the sky; he felt like he was in the Lion King.


	144. Chapter 144

Disclaimer: Naruto isn't mine

Being a dad means phoning brothers, sisters, distant aunts-everyone- the day the baby arrives. If anyone is left out feelings will be hurt.

The Nara clan wasn't particularly big. It was your average-sized clan, the right amount for family reunions if they weren't too troublesome. The opposite was true for the Inuzuka clan. The Inuzuka clan did have family reunions but the family itself was one of the biggest in the ninja community. It was spread out across every village imaginable. Everywhere you go you could take some comfort in knowing that there would be a friendly dog and even a friendlier owner.

When Vivi and Kiyoshi were born, Tsume dropped off a rather large and heavy phone book of all the phone numbers in all the villages. At least Shikamaru thought it was a phone book of all the numbers in all of the villages.

Inuzukas have their own personal 358 page phone book.


	145. Chapter 145

Disclaimer: Naruto isn't mine

Being a dad means finding out how long the insurance company will allow your wife to stay in the hospital. And insisting she stay there and rest until the last possible minute.

Iruka missed teaching. Most of the other teachers longed for maternity/paternity leave as a break from grading papers and dealing with less than desirable children but Iruka wasn't one of them. Iruka loved teaching more than anything in the world. It wasn't that he didn't love Kakashi or his babies, it was just that Iruka took his responsibility as an educator for future generations very seriously.

Iruka was packing his things back into the hospital bag. Earlier that morning, his nurse swung by and told him he was all set to go home.

Kakashi came in holding a mug of tea. "What are you doing?"

"I'm packing my things."

Kakashi sipped his mug and looked at Iruka. "You're staying at the hospital for another two days."

Iruka stopped packing his things. "I've already stayed three days."

"I know! The insurance company covers two more days."

"I was only suppose to stay for two days. I can't miss anymore of work. What are the kids going to do without me?"

"Have a substitute?"

"And now I know who's in charge of homework duty."

YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG-YTG

Author's Note: Sorry this hasn't been updated! School was kicking my ass but now I have more time for fanfiction and will continue to update all my stories!


	146. Chapter 146

Disclaimer:Naruto isn't mine

Being a dad means asking a nurse to show you how to change your baby's diaper. This lesson will give you the illusion of knowledge.

Sasuke Uchiha- top student of Konohana Ninja Academy. Excellent study skills. Naturally intelligent. Could handle anything you threw at him.

Kyoko Uchiha- newborn baby. Probably knows more of the world and what's going on around her then most people will ever realize she does. Can't talk or walk. Still experimental as to personality and intelligence.

And yet it was because of this small, adorable, beautiful creature that Sasuke had to ask for help. Help. _Help_. For once in his life, Sasuke was glad the rest of the Uchiha clan wasn't around to see this.

The nurse was getting ready to change Kyoko's diaper and she had a full tool kit of cream, wipes, and yes the diapers themselves. Sasuke watched the nurse wondering what her next move would be and if he should ask the question in the first place,

He walked over to the nurse, took the deepest breath he's ever taken and said. "Can you teach me how to change a diaper?"


	147. Chapter 147

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto

Being a dad means applying for a Social Security number when filing out your baby's birth certificate. It's quick and easy – and you'll need it to claim her as a deduction

Gaara did not like forms. Perhaps it came with being a kage of a village. Even if at the beginning you are gung ho about paperwork it eventually becomes too much and all you want to is burn it to the ground. Or throw outside to the sand if one did not have an Uchiha present.

No one told him that when babies are born, forms need to be filled out! He thought it was just give your signature on the birth certificate and bang- you have your baby. Apparently, there was this little thing called Social Security. Gaara didn't know much about to tell the truth, he knew it involved money and that Kankuro would figure out a way to work it in his favor. Gaara had prepared himself for the worst. Too many sheets of paper and all of them asking for basically the same thing.

In reality, the form was simple and it gave him a new deduction; he still made his assistant do it though.


	148. Chapter 148

Being a dad means handling with care. But definitely handling.

No one thought that Shikamaru would be a very hands-on dad. There was no doubt that Shikamaru was going to love his children more than anything but taking care of them, all the time. Wasn't that just a bit too troublesome?

When Vivi and Kiyoshi were born Sakura paid close attention to Shikamaru as she handed them over. She knew Shikamaru would hold the babies but for how long until it became too troublesome?

A minute passed...

Then two...

Then three...

Then five...

Until after ten minutes and fifty-eight seconds Sakura asked if Shikamaru wanted to take them.

"Not yet." Shikamaru replied. And there was something so peaceful and pure about the way Shikamaru held them. It was a steady cradle even if it was hard to do with two of them.

Sakura decided to leave the room so Shikamaru could have some time alone with them.

"Hey! Sakura! Come back! Troublesome nurse."


	149. Chapter 149

Disclaimer: Naruto isn't mine

Being a dad means upping your values a notch. Maybe two or three notches.

Kakashi prided himself on his values and beliefs. He always made sure to mark on his calender when Icha Icha came out and he always had an excuse ready at any moment. So might claim that these weren't very good values and beliefs but they were better than none. Much better than none.

Still, when he looked at his children, he couldn't help but feel that his values weren't good enough. Iruka had a strange set of values. He made sure to wake up earlier than he thought he needed to go jogging, to eat at least one fruit a day. Those weren't very fun values to have.

He sat down in front of Yura's crib. He had gotten paper and an ink brush and was determined to write down his new and improved values.

"Number one. Saving a cat from a tree does no longer work. Unless you actually save a cat from a tree." Kakashi explained to Yura as wrote this down. "I think the people across the street own a cat."

Yura blinked big brown eyes at him. Kakashi took it as a yes.

"Always do your homework. I'm sure Iruka will remind you but I'm just telling you now. Iruka wants to make sure everyone in his class passes including his own children." Once again, Yura blinked and Kakashi took it as a silent agreement.

"Don't let anyone forget that dogs are better than cats. I know I sound like an Inuzuka but there is a reason why I summon Pakkun and the gang and not cats. Or slugs. Man, no wonder Tsunade has a pig for a pet and not a slug."


	150. Chapter 150

Disclaimer: Naruto is not mine neither is the book by Harry H. Harrison on which this is based off of

Being a dad means getting mother and child home and realizing you're on your own

Sasuke had always told himself he didn't need anyone. From the moment when he saw his family massacred, he didn't need anyone. Until he got older and realized he needed to revive his clan. But still wasn't complete dependency on another human being.

Of course this wasn't the truth. Even a quote on quote "lone wolf" needs social interaction to stay alive. Sasuke needed someone, everyone needs someone. He needed Naruto for more than just his clan revival, he needed Naruto to survive. He didn't need his children just so they could be new heads of the clan, he needed his children because they made him a better person.

So when he walked into the Uchiha compound for the first time as a father he saw that Naruto now had a new responsibility added on to being Hokage. Sasuke would be required to help out but it should never be more than that. For the first time since he was a small child, Sasuke was left on his own to do whatever he wanted with his life.

It was a much scarier thought than he wanted to admit.


	151. Chapter 151

Disclaimer: Naruto isn't mine neither is the book 1001 Things It Means to Be a Dad

Being a dad means taking the week off after your baby comes home

Some people didn't like to work. Some people thrived off of it. Gaara was neither. He didn't want to spend his life lazing about (cough- Kankuro -cough) and he didn't need it to survive (cough-whoever that crazy girl that worked in the Academy's cafeteria-cough) but he did like it.

It didn't leave him room for many vacations days. He had a whole entire village to run and a duty to protect everyone and everything in the village. Taking even a day off meant leaving those people in the care and protection of Temari and Kankuro. When he came back to work he found out that he had missed the almost the end of the world.

"Temari, Kankuro" Gaara said as they walked into his office and stood in front of his desk. "I called you to let you know that I am taking the week off to spend some time with Neji and Zen."

"The baby's name is Tomo." Kankuro said.

Temari sighed. "Kankuro, you are the only person that wanted the baby to be named that."

"Either way I am leaving Suna in your care for a week."

Temari and Kankuro looked at each other.

"What about the psycho girl in the cafeteria?"


	152. Chapter 152

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or the 1001 Things It Means to be a Dad. I am pretty sure I own Playkunoichi but who knows?

Being a dad means letting your wife teach you child care. One, it comes naturally to her, and, two, she's read all the books. You've read _Sports Illustrated_

Contrary to popular belief, Kiba read. Sure it wasn't often or a lot but when needed to Kiba could read a book. The wonderful medic-nins of Konohana took advantage of this and gave Kiba what needed to be every child care book published for free. Kiba not one to back down from a challenge or to bring harm to his unborn children agreed to read every single one.

But that meant that someone had to read the magazines that he read with a passion and for fun for him. Shikamaru was assigned that task. Unlike Kiba, Shikamaru could and wanted to back down from reading _Sports Illustrated _and Playkunoichi. For a eight whole months Shikamaru could name every single minute fact about whoever the centerfold was and who was the best baseball team. Iruka-sensei never taught you that now did he?

"Shikamaru do you want to try swaddling Kiyoshi while I take care of Vivi?" Kiba asked standing in front of Vivi's changing table.

"Sure," Shikamaru grabbed a blue blanket decorated with dogs and deer and began to wrap Kiyoshi in it.

Kiba looked over. "No, you're doing it wrong. You're wrapping him not swaddling. With swaddling you want to make sure he looks like a little maki roll." Kiba began to take over and Shikamaru nodded from the background.

The centerfold for August was 5'8, liked udon...


	153. Chapter 153

Disclaimer: I own nothing but the idea for this story

Being a dad means realizing that all the stupid stuff your wife bought to simply change the baby-like wet wipes, diaper pins, a lined trash can with a lid, new outfits, and diaper rash cream- are, well, really important.

Kakashi didn't think most of the stuff Iruka was buying for the baby was useless. He knew that most of it was very very useful. But all the things Iruka bought just to change the baby? Now that was useless. Changing a baby took at the maximum all of two seconds- he had seen TV- you did not need a whole separate cabinet just for it. That was a waste and in the infamous words of Shikamaru "'Troublesome'"

Then the day came, the fateful day when you had to change a diaper and there were no old ladies to be saved.

Kakashi never wanted to hug a green lined lidded trash can so much.


	154. Chapter 154

Disclaimer: I own nothing but the idea for this story

Being a dad means teaching your baby two words: Da Da

Sasuke always needed to have the first word and the last. That is, if he felt like speaking to you. If you were an idiot he wasn't even going to waste his words on you. He wanted his children to be the same. They would be smart and they wouldn't waste their words on people that didn't matter. Unlike their other father, Naruto, who felt the need to talk to anyone at any time.

Sasuke had also gotten it in his head that he should teach their children how to speak. With Naruto their first words and all subsequent words after would vary between ramen and believe it. He had seen Shikamaru and Kiba's children. The only two words they ever spoke were dog and party.

One day Sasuke sat Kushina down on the counter and looked at her straight in the eye. "Da Da" he repeated pronouncing each syllable. He stared at her. Kushina stared back. "Da Da" he tried again.

More staring. Sasuke took a deep breath in. "Da Da" he said. Kushina didn't even blink.

Kushina made a gurgle noise and a deep concentrated face.

"Ramen."


	155. Chapter 155

Disclaimer:Naruto isn't mine nor is the original 1001 Things It Means to be a Dad book

Being a dad means putting your child's wants, needs, and desires ahead of your own wants, needs, and desires. Every day.

Gaara wasn't a selfish man. He just spent most of his life not knowing how to deal with people. That was understandable right? You live the first fifteen years or so of your life alternating between having everyone afraid of you and you being afraid of yourself and social skills get pushed back. Once he learned how to care, he did his very best to make sure his family was happy.

He went to a strip club with Kankuro once. He didn't have a very good time but Kankuro did and way deep down they even bonded. He watched a show with Temari once about wealthy woman living in a rich part of some village who wore expensive clothing and complained about running out of alcohol. He didn't like that much but at least he got to spend some time with Temari. Sometimes Neji enters his "destiny-mode" again and makes Gaara read big dense books and while Gaara hates them it makes Neji happy.

So when some baby book decided to expose him to the fact that babies need classical music in order to grow he went out and bought an anthology of various classical music composers.

Zen better grow up to be the top of his class because if isn't he is going to pay big time.


	156. Chapter 156

Disclaimer:Naruto is not mine

Being a dad means looking at your baby all night the first night home

Contrary to popular belief Shikamaru did not fall into bed upon the sun setting and while away the hours in blissful sleep only to wake up the next morning and four hours later go back to sleeping. He knew better than that. Especially after Kiba announced his pregnancy. Babies woke up in the night because they were troublesome, troublesome creatures, Shikamaru wasn't an idiot. He figured he would be waking up a lot. Kiba could sleep through the apocalypse.

Shikamaru had no false hopes that once Vivi and Kiyoshi were born Kiba would join. In fact, Kiba would probably get worse and fall into a coma for nine hours. Shikamaru was right. The first night Vivi and Kiyoshi were brought home, Kiba fell asleep like there was nothing wrong in the world.

Of course, he did make comments about how nice being a family was and how beautiful their children are but he didn't worry about them waking up and snuggled underneath the covers. Shikamaru hoped that his children would be well-behaved.

You don't hope when you marry an Inuzuka. It only leads to despair and sadness. When Kiyoshi and Vivi cried for the first time that night, or maybe it was one of them Shikamaru was too tired to tell the noise apart, Shikamaru got up and did his fatherly duty of rocking them to sleep that first night home.

And all the other nights home as well.


End file.
